The post office deficit that is driving management to commit institutional suicide by ending six-day delivery, closing half of the nation's post offices and mail-processing centers, and laying off more than 200,000 workers, is make-believe.
The Count returned last night in a foul mood, his attempt to acquire stamps foiled because the village post office closed before dark. "Fools!" he raged. "Eliminating evening hours -- I shall make them pay!"
This year we turn to the Democrats to find the winner of Destined For Political Stardom. If Elizabeth Warren manages to wrest Teddy Kennedy's old Senate seat away from the Republican usurper, she will indeed be on the road to Democratic stardom.
So what if, with all this talk of deficits and national debt and budget overages, our government takes the unprecedented step of shutting down its mail services? Many small business would worry. But I say to my fellow small business owners: do not fear.
There is an alternative to the current flood of crocodile tears over the death of written communication. We could return to the social compact that regarded mail service as something to be paid for by the people who benefit from it most.
Not only must J.W. Westcott Company's crew adhere to the USPS's creed of delivering through rain, sleet, and snow, they must also battle fast-moving currents and factory-sized freighters that do not stop for their deliveries.