If you want to capture someone's attention, walk into Target and ask the clerk, "On what aisle would I find products to kill..." then whisper the rest in her ear. Ten people will follow you around the store.
When approached by a possible suitor, be sure to lure them over to the gardening section, as making initial contact around the nails, caulk and nipples is a bit too forward these days -- and the puns are entirely too obvious. You're screwed.
The most important thing to remember is that no trip to Home Depot (or similar home improvement store that will make you feel like you need all new handles for your cabinets) is official until you loudly proclaim either, "I just want a good stud finder!" or "Where my hose at?"
Late Sunday afternoon I made some jokes on Twitter using the hashtag #Mitterature that mashed up the public persona of Mitt Romney with well-known book titles. Like "Cayman Treasure Island" or "The Wind in the Willards."