If you are ever in doubt about whether to ask some burning question, first ask yourself if you would pose the same question about the body of a non-trans youth or adult, perhaps your own child or a student or neighbor. If the answer is no, don't ask. If you find yourself biting your tongue, keep biting.
This needs to end now. Those of us with the resources to fight in any way need to continue to stand up to those who are actively working to see more trans people dead, and we need to be absolutely present with those trans people who, at any given moment, may have fewer emotional or material resources than we do.
For my graduate research I interviewed "Bernie" and other lesbians about their lives in the 1940s, '50s, and '60s. Their stories have haunted me since. These stories, and the experiences of gay men, bisexuals, and transgender people told to me by friends and friends of friends, are woven throughout my first novel, Blackmail, My Love.