Is your partner playing hot and cold? One minute you're high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you're frozen out and left wondering what happened. You begin to question your actions. Did you say the wrong thing? Did you make the wrong move?
Today, we're more reactive as people than we have ever been in our history. Technology has made it possible to access information instantaneously, and to reach anyone across the globe instantaneously, whenever we choose.
"Yoga" translates as "union." The tradition teaches that the union we're seeking begins with ourselves and ultimately extends to all beings and to the universe itself. Marriage is also a union, a union of two persons committed to sharing their lives in a loving relationship.
It is nearly impossible for us to reach our goals through the constant reacting to other people. Instead of starting the day with email or Facebook, start it deliberately, in solitude and away from all of those reactive devices.
Scientific research indicates that meditation practice can actually change our brain structure to ameliorate reactivity. But meditation is just one tool for what, at the extreme, is known as impulse control disorder.