"He was cheating." She drank too much." "We just grew apart." "We fight all the time." These are all reasons people will tell you they got divorced. But I believe that all those reasons stem from one much larger "root:" resentment.
We parted as friends and years later, we're still friendly. Although I knew the marriage was over before it began, I'm glad it didn't end there. The road we traveled was one of love, laughter, pain, tears and, most importantly, growth.
When it comes to the fat wife, we admonish her for letting herself go and we secretly sympathize with the man in the picture. We excuse his nights out, his wandering eye, his slip-slide into infidelity -- and even his claim that weight gain justifies divorce.
My friend Bethany kept falling in lust with men at her office, which would've been fine except that she was in a 17-year marriage and had two teenage daughters. She was never physically unfaithful to her husband Doug, but the cost in integrity was devastating.
At the Times, it makes no difference if you're writing an article about a wedding or a Page One story, you're expected to do thorough investigating and rigorous fact-checking. But can love be fact-checked?
Sometimes, years pass before we have that lightbulb moment -- noting situations we neither predicted nor imagined -- something like separate vacations or separate activities which, taken to an extreme, may lead to separate lives.