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Relationship Help

Staying Strong as a Couple While Parenting Little Ones

Andrea Nair | Posted 01.27.2017 | Parents
Andrea Nair

When couples share their exciting news about having a baby, part of me cheers for them, and part of me sends them a quiet wish. This wish is to hang in there, because life after a baby is incredibly different than before.

4 Signs You Are in the Wrong Relationship

Sandra Bienkowski | Posted 04.13.2015 | Healthy Living
Sandra Bienkowski

Take back your power by opening your eyes to who is really in front of you. Decide if YOU want to be with that person. And then give yourself a voice.

Here's What Happens When You Go On A Vacation To Save Your Marriage

The Huffington Post | Taryn Hillin | Posted 09.02.2014 | Divorce

If you're planning a romantic vacation as a last-ditch effort to save your marriage, you may want to come up with a plan B. A new survey from UK f...

11 Ways To Make Your Marriage Happier, Starting Today

The Huffington Post | Shelley Emling and Ann Brenoff | Posted 03.11.2014 | Fifty

The honeymoon period in most marriages has a shelf life. But does that mean you can't bring back those fluttery butterfly feelings of excitement and a...

8 Signs It's Time To Take A Break From Your Relationship

Posted 01.23.2014 | Divorce

Written by Aunt Becky for CafeMom’s, The Stir. Taking a break is one of the most challenging, frustrating, and saddening parts of a relationship....

10 Signs Your Man Is A Psychopath

Posted 01.23.2014 | Divorce

Written by Kiri Blakeley on CafeMom’s blog, The Stir . Are you in a relationship with a psychopath? You might think that's something you'd know ...

6 Ways to Stop Escalating Fights With Your Partner

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 01.25.2014 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

It's a big challenge to accept helplessness over another, but when you fully accept it, then you are free to take loving care of yourself and do whatever you need to do to not escalate the fight, and to then compassionately tend to your own feelings.

The #1 Thing Everyone Needs To Know About Relationships

Posted 08.06.2013 | Divorce

It's a common refrain: your relationship would be better, if only you could change your partner. So you try -- and nine times out of 10, you fail. Why...

WATCH: Iyanla Vanzant Exposes How Marriages Are REALLY Destroyed

OWN | Posted 05.01.2013 | OWN

Have you ever felt like an outside force is interfering with your marriage? This is exactly what Sasha the Diva, a popular radio personality from Geor...

Is Your Relationship System Working Well?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

All relationships have a system. Some work well and some don't. Since I have been working with relationships for the last 44 years, I've become very attuned to what kind of a system two people have between them.

Relationship Advice: Less Fighting, More Often

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.12.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

In my work with couples, they may tell me that they had a big fight, and when I ask what they were fighting about, they often can't remember. The reason for this is that it's rarely the issue itself, but how they are dealing with the issue that creates the most problems.

The Most Unusual Way To Save Your Relationship

Posted 10.31.2012 | Weddings

Even the happiest couples experience relationship slumps at some point. So how do you keep things from going from bad to worse? Hypnosis could be the ...

Relationship Advice: Should I Tell Him How I Really Feel?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.24.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Psychotherapists often advise their clients to share their feelings with the important people in their life. Is this good advice?

Why Relationships Are Often Difficult

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.16.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

If you want a relationship that maintains deep emotional and physical connection, a relationship where you rarely feel lonely with each other, a relationship that is always evolving and growing toward deeper intimacy, then you likely have to be willing to work at it by healing your own issues.

'How Can I Make Others Hear and Understand Me?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.20.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Accepting our lack of control over how others see and treat us is a major challenge for many people. It's important to realize that others often treat us the way we treat ourselves.

How to Tell if It's Real Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.17.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all have a wounded self -- our ego -- that we developed as we were growing up, to protect us from pain. Our wounded self becomes activated when we get scared -- scared of rejection, of engulfment, of being hurt.

Resolving Relationship Problems by Letting Go of Problem-Solving

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.08.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"We never seem to be able to solve any problems," Kaylee told me in a phone session. "Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting."

Are You 'Nice' or Are You Loving?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.01.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Being nice often means being inauthentic. It can be a form of control -- attempting to control how the other person feels about you or how they respond to you.

Relationships: Why You Attract Who You Attract

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.15.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

While no one deliberately seeks out someone who is closed, negative and needy, if this is you, this is what you will attract into your life. If you want a loving relationship, then you need to do the work of learning how to take emotional responsibility

'You're Not Meeting My Needs'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.05.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

How did we get the idea that marriage is about the other person meeting our needs, or about our meeting the other person's needs?

The Power of Kindness in Your Relationships

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.17.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Which is more important to you in your relationships -- to be kind or to control?

The Relationship Fix Many Couples Overlook

Dr. Howard Markman | Posted 03.20.2012 | Divorce

Despite conventional wisdom that the divorce rate is still increasing, the fact of the matter is that the divorce rate in the United States is the low...

The Biggest Secret To Saving Your Marriage

Howard J. Markman, Ph.D | Posted 03.20.2012 | Divorce
Howard J. Markman, Ph.D

Couples therapy is only part of the answer to the question of how to increase relationship health. The most important answer is in one word: Education.

7 Ways to Improve Your Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 03.19.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Good relationships don't just happen. I've discovered seven choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

7 Ways to Ensure You'll Never Have Sex in Your Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 02.05.2012 | Women
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

You can continue to be angry and complain only as long as you take no responsibility for your own choices.