I am one of the fortunate who is living the truth of a song lyric, experiencing firsthand that "love is lovelier the second time around." Yet as happy as I am right now, I know the statistics on second marriages tell a different tale.
Twelve years ago, following my husband's surprise announcement that he was leaving our 22-year marriage to move across the country with a former stripper, I had to learn to navigate a strange new world.
When I see my mother and her partner dance in the kitchen while making breakfast after being together for over 35 years, I want that. I'm just not sure that I want to subject that kind of love to the institution of marriage. It's not something I've excelled at, and love is too precious to risk.
My fiancé and I are in our mid-50s. This is the second marriage for both of us, and god willing, our last. My expectations are very different this time around. My focus isn't on how things will look in the pursuit of perfection but rather on the meaning of the celebration.
Regardless of the reasons, the numbers are clear. Second marriages are more likely to fail than first unions. But, when it comes to relationships, I don't care about statistics. I care about individual marriages.
Having to share your partner with another woman because he had a child with her can be difficult enough, but when that woman didn't seem to get the memo that they've divorced, it can send your internal threat meter into the red zone.
In the beginning, the newly remarried couple faces stiff obstacles to achieving stability as compared to remaining a single parent. However, aiming to weather the storms of remarried life can offer the couple and their children both financial and emotional security.