The moment you accept responsibility for your reactions to anything that is happening around you, you have no way back. The moment you recognize that you are the one choosing your reactions, the blame and complain game ceases to have power over you.
Steven Serba wrote to me with a great example of the messiness of being directionally correct and still achieving a great personal outcome. His is a story of overcoming addiction and homelessness through the power of personal response-ability.
You already know the generalization approach: "These things never...," "I always...," etc. With deletions, the critic simply omits inconvenient data points, and the distortion approach simply twists what has been said to fit the argument.
The mirror concept suggests that when we perceive something in another, or react to something in another, what we are really doing is seeing a reflection of our own selves in the other person's behavior.