Annnd we're back at the aptly named Moxie Salon ("a force of character, determination or nerve") where Teresa is summoning all of hers to shut Penny down. "You wanted to destroy [Melissa], not me," Penny reiterates.
We open with Melissa and Joe in the bathroom, which is a fitting setting for all the sh-- they're talking. They've got a really bad taste in their mouths -- and this time, it's actually not from the self-tanner they ingest.
Though Teresa obviously orchestrated a hot mess of rumors and lies, Penny says that it's all over now. "She asked me to squash it" she says seriously, as if this is her day job and she's handing in her final report.
Hello, and welcome back to "Demonic Possession Is a Real Thing" Part 3. The palpable hatred in No. 1 led to the blood bath in No. 2, so at this point, we're basically kicking an extremely dead (but still sparkly) horse.
We're transported back in time to the Season 3 reunion, and as you'll recall Jacqueline wasn't there. Caroline explained that the "incident last night" kept her from attending, and now, a year later, we finally know what that was.
Next thing we know, a strangled sob bursts from Caroline's dark room. She used to be a delightfully spontaneous mix of emotion, sarcasm and warmth. Now, she is capable of turning it on and off like a faucet
It's the horrific moment when Teresa's husband Joe is outed as a juicy cheater/verbally abusive husband. Get your popcorn and medicinal cocktail, folks ... your significant other is about to look a whole lot better.
"There's nothing but trees and grass and us," Caroline deadpans. "Kill me now." In this desolate area, the only thing they can do is talk amongst themselves ... and with this group, that's not a very titillating activity.
They hit up Camping World, and it's like "letting wild animals go free," Jacqueline explains. The cash register kaching-kachings upwards of $4,000. "I think maybe we overbought," Jacqueline observes as she watches overflowing carts go by.
Kathy and Richie have popped over to wish Teresa well. They are family, after all, and it's important to support each other. But as soon as Kathy gets to the table, she uses that precious time to invite Teresa to HER upcoming dessert tasting.
Teresa drops a pretty heinous bomb: She says Rosie felt left out because Kathy "hated the fact that her sister was gay." This stands in stark contrast to everything we've seen ... and it's about the lowest blow dealt on this show.
"Can't you believe how much the tables have turned?" Teresa smirks. "I never imagined me getting along with Melissa and Kathy, but fighting with Jacqueline and Caroline." But Jacqueline whimpers, "I lost a best friend tonight."