After I was divorced and middle-aged and back in the dating pool, I unfortunately had to kiss a few more frogs. One I recall was a tongue-darter -- very disconcerting and unromantic. And another one was worse, he had bad breath and tasted like a dried-out steak every time I kissed him. Beef is okay to eat, but NEVER to kiss.
Should I wait until I am in a serious relationship and absolutely sure the guy is right for me and will be supportive of my son? If I do wait and find that I have developed feelings for this man only to discover that he won't be supportive of my son, then I must end the relationship. So since I won't know how supportive he'll be until I take off my mask and test the waters, that's what I do.
When couples are younger I think they look at sex like fast food -- get as much as you can as often as you can. Just gorge yourself on it. But as you get older you discover that if you learn relax, with food and sex, the pleasure can be indescribable. You learn sex is like a fine meal, something to be slowly savored, not gobbled on the run.
I grew up, fell in and out of love more times than my mother appreciated, and learned that the kind of passion Barry rhapsodized about wasn't easily found. I still believed in it, didn't give up on it, but stopped holding every relationship to the standard of "no way out." I always seemed to find plenty of ways out... as did they. Until I met him. The man I married.