Russell Hantz

Survivor Redemption Island: Matt Went From Champion to Totally Lose My Respect

Michael Russnow | Posted 06.07.2011

Michael Russnow

Last night's episode caused me to jump up aghast when I saw Matt Elrod, having regained entry to the game after masterfully winning six challenges in a row, throw it all away with an incredible blunder.

Survivor 22: Rerun Island: Russell Blows It, Mansweater Sucks It, and Big Mouth Stamps It.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

We opened this week with a terrifying nightmare vision: Russell had cloned thousands of exact replicas of himself, and they were waking up, and flying off to attack!

Survivor 22: Rerun Island: A Consummation Devoutly to be Wished.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Survivor opened this week watching Matt, aka Dr. Jesus, arriving on Zombie Island, a newly-made member of The Squawking Dead, like all Christians, seeking Redemption and Resurrection, whereas what he needs is what all zombies seek: brains.

Survivor 22: Rerun Island: A Phillip's Head Screwy Driver

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

So we got our first look at Zombie Island. Oh, they call it "Redemption Island," but every time I've ever heard someone offering "redemption," it always turns out to be a religious con-man-or-woman.

Survivor 22: Rerun Island: Our Man Big Mouth

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

In his online bio, David says: "9 times out of 10, when I walk into a room, I'm the most-intelligent person there." Perhaps, but obviously, when he's outdoors, he's the idiot wearing a black business suit into the rain forest.

Survivor 21: Infants vs Senior Citizens: Shut up, Shannon!

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Did they neglect the psych evaluations on the contestants this time around? Because we saw some seriously deranged behavior in this week's episode of Survivor, not to mention a crime wave of footwear theft.

Survivor 21: Infants vs Senior Citizens: Not About Yve

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

It began with Jeff Probst's voice telling us: "This is Nicaragua: remote, mysterious, dangerous." He left out poverty-ridden (second-poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, barely beating out Haiti), oppressed, run by a powerful Marxist leader.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Double Indumbnity

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Over in Samoa, Jerri, having profited from the use of Candice's disloyalty, now suggested cutting her loose, for being untrustworthy. Excuse me? Show me one Insufferable who is trustworthy.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains: Shuffle Bored!

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

No matter what those dopey Twilight movies tell you, werewolves make lousy house pets. But someone else was morphing into a monster under last night's full moon as well...

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Banana Wars.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Happy Shakespeare's Birthday everyone. Let's celebrate by talking about Survivor, which is exactly what Shakespeare would have written if only he had had no talent.

Survivor Heroes vs Villains: Mission Implausible.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Parvati didn't flip and Courtney's skeleton went back to her graveyard or haunted castle or wherever it is that living skeletons hang out. Poor JT. Totally betrayed.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Shudder Island

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

There really is no one left to root for playing Survivor. (It's not like Rupert has a chance of winning. Get real.) The only thing left to make one tune it in is to see the inevitable fall of Bulbous Baggins, aka, Russell The Hobbit on Crack.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Robbed!

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Rob described Tyson the Mormon Moron as having been "as dumb as a bag of rocks," although I think this was unnecessarily insulting to bags of rocks.

TV's 'Survivor' as Mirror to America

Bill Donius | Posted 05.25.2011

Bill Donius

In the final episode, good prevailed when fellow contestants voted against the evil, manipulative, lying, 'swearing on kids' lives' player, Russell.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Hot Dogs and Bananas.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

After returning from Tribal Council, my beautiful James asked Colby "You want a hug?" and the idiot said: "No." Is he insane? First he turned down chocolate, now he's turned down a chocolate hug.

Did 'Survivor' Cheat? and Other Burning Questions

Steve Pond | Posted 05.25.2011

Steve Pond

The 20th season of "Survivor" is concluded, the first two-time winner has been crowned, Russell Hantz is ticked off ... and I have some questions.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Russell in Failureland.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Jeff opened the big three hour finale and reunion show by reading my recaps aloud over clips, only he cut all the good jokes. Well, Colby remained, and he's still a joke.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: The Tin-Brained Woodman is Rusty.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

It's almost over. Just one little hour tonight, and then the big two-hour finale followed by live reunion show, which will hopefully be the last anyon...

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Wily Wankers and the Chocolate Factory

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Sadly, not every episode of Survivor can be as much fun as last week's dynamite combination of Voldepussy's crying jag and James dripping baby oil.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Never Wear Feathers in Your Hair.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

We opened this week with Voldetool (Ex-Coach Wade for any new readers), going into a ridiculous emotional tailspin because Sandra had dared to point out that he was a lazy, mouth-running, idiot.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Mud-Slinging.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

What? Survivor again? All I care about is how feral Claire turned into Rousseau, becoming Clouseau. Oh well, it's a dirty job, especially this week, b...

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Hi Y'all.

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Samoa's war between the Likeables and the Insufferables continues. It may not be getting as much international attention the Olympics, but at least in Samoa, the contestants are stripped down.

Survivor: Heroes vs Villains: Sugar's Lumps

Tallulah Morehead | Posted 05.25.2011

Tallulah Morehead

Survivor is back for its 20th season. This time, they've promised to answer all our questions. And thanks to a judge who believes in good TV, we don't have Richard Hatch to put up with.

Natalie's Survivor Win Renews My Faith in Human Nature

Joan E. Dowlin | Posted 05.25.2011

Joan E. Dowlin

Natalie White may be the most unexpected winner of Survivor since the series began ten years ago.

Survivor Finalist Russell Really Is an Ass: Whereas 4th Place Brett Showed Class Will Tell

Michael Russnow | Posted 05.25.2011

Michael Russnow

The point here is to cast light on the devil incarnate of the most recent Survivor, which concluded Sunday night on CBS. Machiavellian is too tame to describe the overconfident and somewhat deluded Russell Hantz.