On June 9th, my twin sons will turn two years old. It's only slightly less opaque after two years, but I've made an observation or two, some of which apply to two-dad families and some of which apply to most anyone.
Here are some ideas and examples from my dissolved and reconstituted same-sex-parents-headed family that can help parents in different households avoid feeling like one is "primary" and the other is, well, "other."
After the "M" bomb went off, a barrage of questions entered my already crowded brain, questions I'm sure many gay dads have pondered: How are we going to explain our unique family to our daughter? How do we explain the concept of having a biological mother who is not actually her parent?
During the Supreme Court arguments in the Proposition 8 case last week, there seemed to be some confusion about the social science evidence concerning same-sex parents and their ability to raise children, but there is no "disagreement" among the experts about what the research says.
After my son's third birthday party, his best friend began to cry. When his mother asked him what was wrong, he said, "I want two dads just like Isaac has!" That was the first moment when I realized my family was unique.
Parents should be judged on their parenting, not on their sexuality. If I were a kid living in care, I'd much rather have two dads who want me, love me and work two and half years to prove to some strangers that they can care for me than a mother and a father whose lives I'm simply a part of.
When same-sex couples are given the opportunity to raise a family, we see it as a privilege. We are fighting to make the formation of families with all legal protections a right, not a privilege. It's time we reclaim the label "pro-family," because we have the protection of all families in mind.
More than one new mother will feel vindicated by her admission to People that she hadn't been to the gym for two weeks, and she'd started drinking coffee again after two years of abstaining from caffeine. And that's not all...
I hoped the boy wouldn't end up with the girl, but rather they would end up with other people. Alone would be fine with me, too. And I hoped that this non-happy ending would send viewers out of the theater smiling, because it really wouldn't be unhappy at all.