While the birth mother was resting with the baby, Andy and his partner took a break from the hospital to get some food. When they returned from eating, they had a flurry of phone messages from the mother, crying and urging them to get back soon. A nurse had been questioning her about her decision to let a gay couple adopt her baby.
When my daughter tells me that she is more American than I am because she was born here and I wasn't, I respond that I actually think the opposite is true - that because I made the choice to become American, I am more American then she is. I made the choice to leave my past behind and asked to become a U.S. citizen, while she was given citizenship at birth. I never planned to leave my past behind and I didn't have a childhood dream to become American, but yet, I did end up doing this, so, how did I get here?
I remember the late '90s. I was fresh out of the closet, a teenage, single, gay guy who was going out clubbing every weekend. 90% of my friends were single, gay guys and I was frequently on the dating market. That's how I saw most young gays living their lives back in those days. It was not yet legal for two men to get married, and usually same-sex families were out of public sight. Fast-forward 10 years later. I was married to my husband, Ido, we were pregnant with our first daughter, and 90% of our friends were married, straight couples. Our date nights involved staying at home, watching a movie on a 40-inch television screen in our own living room. How did we end up there?? I always wondered when this transition to the good ol' typical American family started.
Heterosexual marriages do not automatically lead to happy households and well-balanced children. Parents are parents -- and all can make bad decisions, learn as they go, or not be perfect. It doesn't matter if they are gay, straight, single or otherwise. But to deny protections to parents already raising children isn't right, and the only purpose it serves is to hurt those children.
I have worked for years educating the gay and straight community alike that my family structure is just as good for raising children as any other, so I feel the need to respond to Heather Barwick, a daughter of gay moms, who believes her family structure (my family structure) was detrimental to her upbringing.