On Tuesday, Congress decided that pizza is a vegetable. I have to imagine that this news instilled confusion in many Americans, as many Americans are: familiar with pizza; familiar with vegetables; and sane. But, according to the geniuses in Washington, pizza is a vegetable for the purposes of determining what goes into public school lunches by virtue of the fact that pizza traditionally includes a schmear of tomato paste. And if you're wondering how it came to pass that Congress arrived at the conclusion that pizza could count as a serving of vegetables for this reason, wonder no more! Congress was guided along this path by lobbyists. And lobbyists can do all sorts of things, by magic!