As I became more and more aware of how often and how harshly I judged myself, I finally made the connection: Disapproving of myself led to needing others' approval.
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How often have your sacrificed your own self-approval in favor of that short-lived approval from another to whom you have assigned power over you?
An important part of that freedom is being open to "try on" new behaviors in order to learn what fits and what doesn't.
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