when we create a problem in our mind and start freaking out, a light bulb also comes to you to show you how to fix the problem. Always. The no. 1 way to fix any problem is to act (not on stage, in your own life). But generally we default back into the rumination of our mind that got us stuck in the first place. So unless we make the effort, we stay in the problem.
When your child is on stage, she's looking out at the audience and there is only one thing in the world that she wants at that moment, which is to make eye contact with you. She wants to see you, to catch your eye, to know that you see her. She wants to see you and smile at you and blush when you smile back.
To become abundantly successful and fulfilled master fear and let it make you stronger than you were before. Fear is designed to raise your desires to higher standards. When you understand that the intention behind this emotion is your personal evolvement, you can use it to develop the resilience necessary to increase your capacity to thrive in life.
As a psychotherapist, I know that kind of talk is unhelpful at best, and damaging at worst, and yet I still fall victim to it. Because we all do. And it takes work to change it. But it's worth it. Healthy self-appraisal is associated with reduced depression and anxiety, more satisfying relationships, and improved overall quality of life.
I know that if my "before" and "after" photos were placed on social media without the back story, the judgement would be something like "she really let herself go." Gaining weight in our culture, especially for women is synonymous with being lazy, unmotivated, unsuccessful, and unlovable. Yet in my case, nothing could be farther from the truth.
There is strength in allowing the people around you to see the darker parts of who you are. If we all hide that, then how can we ever help each other? How can we ever understand? There's a truth behind eating disorders that many are afraid to share, because they're just as ashamed as I was, and I understand that. But it's something we should talk about.