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Self Judgment

I'm A Failure!

Brian Harke Ed.D. | Posted 09.13.2016 | Education
Brian Harke Ed.D.

During my career in Academia, I have noticed an unhealthy trend among students. It's the obsessively self-critical thinking that happens when students do something that doesn't go "right." They fall into the judgmental trap of thinking they are a failure or something is wrong with them.

Keys to Releasing Shame

Cindy Griffith-Bennett | Posted 05.26.2016 | Healthy Living
Cindy Griffith-Bennett

Part of evolution is learning from mistakes. Instead of going into shame about a past experience, take the time to look at the lesson attached to the experience. Every use of poor judgment or unfortunate experience has a lesson somewhere. Find the lesson and then trace how you have used that lesson, or if it is a recent issue, how you can use that lesson in the future.

Are You Addicted to Judging Yourself?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.26.2016 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"I'm such a jerk. How could I have said that?" "I'm a loser. I'll never get anywhere." "I'm so stupid. I should have learned this by now." "I don't fi...

I Couldn't Love Myself, So I Loved My Self-Judgment

Natasha Che | Posted 05.01.2016 | Women
Natasha Che

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for feel-good tactics that brighten up the world. I only find it surprising that, despite all the books and essays and TV talk shows that tell people to love themselves, we still find it difficult to do.

8 Things You Should Never Say To Yourself About Food

Posted 01.25.2015 | Healthy Living

By Janet Helm for U.S. News Sometimes we're our own worst enemy when it comes to food. Those little things that we say to ourselves before or after...

The Damaging Way Women Respond To Distress

OWN | Posted 02.25.2014 | OWN

"My stomach looks so bulky." "My job is stupid." "I'll probably never find someone." We frequently hear people verbalize these types of self-critiq...

Are You as Loving to Yourself as You Are to Your Dog?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 01.23.2014 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

David sat in front of me at one of my Inner Bonding five-day intensive retreats. A successful businessman with a wife and two grown children, David be...

How to Mindfully Transform a Painful Memory

Ronald Alexander, Ph.D. | Posted 01.23.2014 | Healthy Living
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D.

The mind has the marvelous capacity to relive the emotions connected to a memory over and over again, each time you recall it. By creating a healing memory, you ensure that whenever the original memory arises in your awareness, it won't cause you as much pain as it used to.

Do You Believe You Deserve Love?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.14.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all deserve love -- just because we exist. You will know you deserve love when you are loving to yourself.

The Many Faces of Judgment

Dr. Debbie Magids | Posted 08.19.2013 | Healthy Living
Dr. Debbie Magids

I've always believed that I am one of the least judgmental people to exist on this planet; I'd swear to it in a court of law. But alas, during a day at the beach last week with my best friends and their significant others, I saw myself in a different light.

Have You Made It Okay to Fail?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.17.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Life changes when you make it okay to fail. To me, the only true failure is not making an effort toward what brings you joy, and the only way you can do this is by making it okay to fail.

Get Over It to Get on With It

Matthew B. James, Ph.D. | Posted 08.17.2013 | Healthy Living
Matthew B. James, Ph.D.

Forgiveness applies to all the big as well as all the small wrongs you experience -- whether real or imagined. Doing it on a regular basis frees up your energy again and gets you back on track.

4 Ways You Might Be Rejecting Yourself

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.06.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Fear of rejection is a big issue for many people -- and it used to be for me, too. I used to be so worried about how others felt about me that I was often anxious in my interactions with them -- always trying to say and do the "right" thing so they would like me or at least think well of me.

5 Important Things Your Gut Is Telling You

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 03.18.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Our feelings are always informational -- a profound source of inner guidance. I encourage you to value your feelings and listen to what they are telling you, rather than ignoring and avoiding them.

Self-Parenting 101: Learning to Take Your Own Side

Nancy Colier | Posted 02.17.2013 | Healthy Living
Nancy Colier

In life, the person you spend the most time with is yourself. You are always in your own company. Why not keep company with someone who loves you as opposed to someone who does not particularly like you, or worse?

Try It: Train Your Brain To Judge Less

Kripalu | Posted 12.21.2012 | Healthy Living

I've learned that the less I think my thoughts define who I am, the more I expand into the truth of my being. As I unstick me from my thoughts -- which is sometimes tender-painful, like peeling bare thighs off a hot seat in summer -- then the mean-girl stuff just floats away.

Are You Hiding A Secret? How To Stop Holding Yourself Back

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.21.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

In my work with my clients, I've often wondered why some people jump right in to learning and growing and take off with it, while others seem to keep getting stuck. I've discovered that harboring a shameful secret is one of the reasons.

Stop Stopping Judgment

Laurie Gerber | Posted 05.20.2012 | Healthy Living
Laurie Gerber

It feels so good. Is it really so bad? I think it's too simple to say, "Judging is wrong," or "I am trying to be less judgmental." I hear it in yoga ...

'Why Are My Partners Always Needy?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.08.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

A patient of mine realized that if he wanted to attract a loving and caring woman who took responsibility for herself, he would have to learn to be loving and caring toward himself.

Pop The Illusion Of The Analytical Mind

Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D. | Posted 04.28.2012 | Healthy Living
Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D.

Like a spider weaving a web, our logical, analytical, predictive, problem-solving mind continuously creates a story of our lives, who we are, what we are like, what will happen to us, and why. As the story grows, it can become impenetrable and self-sustaining.

Why Do You Blame?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.09.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Why do we blame ourselves and others? What is the payoff?

Resistance: What You Judge Won't Budge

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.04.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

How often do you tell yourself that you are wrong, bad, inadequate, unworthy, a jerk, stupid and so on? I've found, in the many years I've been counseling, that most people are frequently inwardly judgmental.

How I Stopped Judging Myself

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.25.2011 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

As I became more and more aware of how often and how harshly I judged myself, I finally made the connection: Disapproving of myself led to needing others' approval.

Letting Go Of Blame

Mike Robbins | Posted 04.18.2012 | Home
Mike Robbins

Letting go of blame allows us to be free, to take back our power and to avoid the trap of thinking that someone or something else has the ability to dictate our experience of life. Whether our life is "wonderful" or "difficult" is always up to us.

Signs of Intelligent Life: Group Smarts

Gerald Sindell | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Gerald Sindell

When someone speaks, how long will it take for you to make a judgment about their knowledge, their communication skills, and even their intelligence?