I'm writing this knowing my bank account is overdrawn, because I'm still waiting on four, unexpectedly late paychecks. I'm writing this from my couch, where my 19-month-old is sleepily nursing in my lap.
As part of a documentary on dealing with adversity I interviewed several women on going through a divorce and raising children on their own. Naturally a divorce brought with it plenty of anxiety, doubts and worries and all of the women had to make some very difficult choices but ultimately prevailed and became stronger and happier in the process.
Little kids often come with little voices, so they can be easy to overlook. My son tattling on me was a proud moment for me, because he used his big voice. I listened then and I still listen today. I have learned to switch focus and be present with him when he needs my attention.
We recently came together as two mothers to discuss the stereotypes faced by single parents, single mothers in particular, and the additional stereotypes faced by Black single mothers.
This exercise cemented for me the idea that there is simply nothing better than looking at the world from a child's perspective. The little things matter to them. Our children offer us their awareness, innocence and optimism. Correct me if I am wrong, but couldn't all of us use a little bit more of this in our life
So I received the same compliment from strangers over the last couple of years which I am extremely proud of as a mother. In case you're wondering, this is the compliment: my children are the most polite and caring children that they have seen in years and in this time, it's rare to find such children.
The mother of your child is not your enemy. Even when she makes you feel like she is. She is your ally in the most important mission of your life--the successful rearing of your child. So before you think to berate her in front of the watchful eyes of the world, remember this.
I recently "came out" with my pregnancy as a single mother by choice on Facebook, and I was surprised that the most common reaction to my post was "You're a badass!"
Dealing with biases and stereotypes is depleting, and serves to tear single parents down, rather than build them up so they have the best chance of succeeding.
Since I became a single mom eight years ago, my day planner notebook has been my lifeline, my secretary, and a familiar heavy weight in my bag that I would be lost without. This year, it is showing me something telling: that I may no longer need to rely on food stamps to make ends meet.
Every day, I wish and pray this chapter of our life will pass. But I cannot control when the page turns. I can at least put the secrecy behind me. I believe our power cannot be usurped by things outside of our control. However, shame can immobilizes us when we hold it close.
Super-excited to jump into Season 6! Am I the only one who notices that the whole show is essentially about single moms? Because it is. It is about women and money, and nearly all of the women are moms -- SINGLE MOMS.
My daughter just turned five... which means I have (I still can't believe I am saying this) five years of single motherhood under my belt.
We say that being a mom is the most beautiful, powerful thing a woman can do. We say that being a mom is amazing and you become overfilled with joy immediately. Sometimes though, being a mom is tough. It's messy. It's exhausting. It's downright annoying.
The newborn months are hard on every family, and you are doing it by yourself. You are surviving the hardest part, and you're doing so with only the resources you've developed on your own.
I wish sometimes that this could be Christmas. Quiet mornings, in the glow of lights, and not a build-up to another early morning of opening gifts that will soon be forgotten, discarded on the bedroom floor. I want to enjoy these two warm bodies next to me that were once part of my own.