Singlism

Et Tu, Touré? A Critic of White Privilege Is Oblivious to Marital Privilege

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.07.2012

Read More: Myths About Single People, Single Men, Myths About Marriage and Compromise, Myths About Marriage and Maturity, Marriage, Matrimania, Lifelong Single People, Single Life, Media Myths, Dylan Ratigan, Maggie Gallagher, Marital Privilege, Matt Miller, Same-Sex Marriage, Singlism, Methodological Problems, Toure, Culture News

So those are my two choices? Either I'm providing for my family or I'm out to boost my ego, my status, and my self-image? Touré, there are around 100 million adults who are not married, and that's just counting the ones in the U.S.

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Reports of Singles' Early Demise are Greatly Exaggerated (or Just Plain Wrong)

Bella DePaulo | Posted 10.19.2011

Read More: Marriage, Singled Out, Myths About Singles, Singlism, Longevity, Relationships, Matrimania, Mortality, Flawed Research, Emotional Intelligence, Healthy Living News

A just-published article claims that people who stay single are headed straight to the grave -- and fast. Faster than people who are currently married.

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Taking on Singlism: 28 Writers Help Me Display and Slay the Beast

Bella DePaulo | Posted 07.19.2011

"DePaulo says that 'singlism' -- a term she coined and for which we are prepared to forgive her -- is not just aimed at unmarried women." -Gail Collin...

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Latest Survey of Singles: This Is How Stereotypes Are Perpetuated

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Have you heard about the latest survey of single people? It is based on a nationally-representative sample of more than 5,000 Americans, ages 21 to 65...

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Is Marriage that Luxury Cruise Ship Stranded in the Ocean?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Singled Out, Friends, Economics, Marriage, Matrimania, Kids of Single Parents, Scholars of Single Life, Single Life, Marriage Education, Singles, Media, Time Magazine, Single at Heart, Pew Report, Marriage Obsolete, Marketplace, Meaningful Lives, Singlism, Cohabitation, Fragile Spouse, Laws, Resilient Single Person, Discrimination, Intensive Coupling, Couples, Family, Healthy Living News

Time magazine calls marriage a 'luxury yacht.' Remember what happened on the last cruise ship? The cover of Time magazine asks, in big bold letters,...

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Single Parent? No, Your Kids Are Not Doomed!

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Singled Out, Children of Single Parents, Unmarried Parents, Divorce, Relationships, Women Without Children, Pew Survey, Adolescents, Cohabiting Couples, Media, Interracial Marriage, Prejudice, Time Magazine, Drug and Alcohol Abuse, Neglect, Scientific Research, Married Parents, Attachment, Expectations, Singlism, Conflict, Single Parents, New Family Forms, Warmth, GLBT Parents, Discrimination, Risk, Divorce News

Most headlines from the recent Pew and Time survey were some variation on "4 in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete." The full report was titled "The...

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Facebook Movie: The Arrogance of Achievement vs. the Arrogance of Inheritance

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Arrogance, Reputation, Personality, Money, Likable, Matrimania, Inheritance, Achievement, The Social Connection, Dr. House, Passion, Media, Movies, Happiness, Joy, Success, Philanthropy, Intelligence, Singlism, Exploitation, Sexism, Single, Mark Zuckerberg, Social Skills, Intensity, Coupled, Technology News

The word on the street is that the Facebook movie, The Social Network, ruins Mark Zuckerberg's reputation. I'm not so sure.

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What Every New Census Report Shows: More Americans Are Single. But Why?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Cohabitation, Divorce, Fear of Intimacy, Married With Children, Living Single, Unmarried Households, 1-Person Households, Age at First Marriage, Married Couple Households, Marriage, Singlism, Same-Sex Couples, Singles-Bashing, Rise of Singles, Rates of Marriage, Unmarried Couples, Census Bureau, Healthy Living News

How do the stories in the media explain the increase in the number of single people and decrease in the number of married Americans? One explanation did not seem to occur to anyone.

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Challenges to the Privileging of Married People, from Across the Ideological Spectrum

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Glbt, Liberals, Matrimania, Government Role in Marriage, Marriage Penalty, Singles, Family and Medical Leave Act, Special Rights, Same-Sex Marriage, Friendship, National Unmarried and Single Americans Week, Marital Privilege, Marriage, Singles Week, Singlism, Human Rights, Conservatives, Get Government Out of Marriage, Second-Class Citizens, Basic Rights, Separation of Church and State, Libertarians, Advocacy, Family, Politics News

[This post is co-authored by Bella DePaulo and Rachel Buddeberg.] Today marks the beginning of Singles Week (or, more formally, National Unmarried an...

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Does the Prop 8 Ruling Make the Case for Ending Marital Privilege?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Social Security, Glbt, Singled Out, Prop 8 Ruling, Proposition 8, Judge Vaughn Walker, 1138 Federal Statutes, Marriage, Singlism, Couples, Singlehood, Marital Privilege, Same-Sex Couples, Health Insurance, Living Single, Single With Attitude, Politics News

My question is this: Why should coupled people, but not single people, have greater access to health insurance, employment benefits, or anything else simply because they are coupled?

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The Sometimes Sordid History of the American Quest for Bliss in Marriage

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Second-Wave Feminism, Glbt, Legal Relationship, Premarital Counseling, More Perfect Unions, ?Curing? Homosexuality, Divorce, Healthy Marriages, Domestic Partnerships, Heterosexuality, Marriage Education, Civil Unions, Happiness, Rebecca Davis, Marriage Counseling, Social History, Singlism, Resilience of Marriage, Egalitarian Marriages, Poor, Social Class, African Americans, Search for Marital Bliss, Great Depression, Books News

Instead of simply teaching people to have 'healthy' marriages, marriage counseling taught Americans to define marriage itself as a healthy state of being.

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Know Your 1,138 Marital Privileges, Courtesy of the Feds

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Minor Spouse, Glbt, Social Security, Work-Related Injuries, Bloggers, Matrimania, Estate Taxes, Widowers, Marital Status, Old Age, Defense of Marriage Act, Veterans, Same-Sex Marriage, Most Important Person in Your Life, Tax Exemptions, Singlism, Legal Code, Community Supported Agriculture, Federal Civilian Employees, Disability, Benefits for Married People, Secondary Education, Family, Spouse, Friend, Federal Military Employees, 1138 Federal Laws, Military Personnel, Marital Privileges, Intimate Partner, Tax Breaks, Definition of Marriage, Family Farms, Stalking, Presidential Powers, Agricultural Loans, Taxation of Gifts, Unmarried Partners, Farmers, Residential Land Use, Singles Penalty, Gifts, Widows, National Parks, Locavores, Hardship, Onely, Politics News

The report also makes it clear that some of the 1,000+ laws identified "may not directly create benefits, rights, or privileges" for married people.

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The Truth about Taxes: Uncoupled Singles Always Pay a Penalty

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Singled Out, Marriage Penalty, Household Expenses, Law Review, Unmarried Couples Penalty, Marital Status, Housework, Income, Marriage, Singlism, Economies of Scale, Work, Pay Inequities, Parental Status, Discrimination, Taxation, Singles Penalty, Marriage Bonus, Politics News

Of course, that's not what we hear in the public conversation. But it's official: It's not a marriage penalty, it's a singles penalty.

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Is Marriage a Barbarian-Adoption Program?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Married men are less generous with their friends after marrying. How, does this qualify as acting "more civilized," as the Marriage Mafia claim?

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If This Were Your Life, Would You Consider It "Relatively Narrow"?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

You may want to skim this list before reading the Washington Post's summary of its story: "Kagan has many achievements, but her world has been relatively narrow."

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Don't Visit the Sins of Coulter on the Other 26 Million Ever-Single American Women

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Drinking Problems, Singlism, Liberal Attitudes, Ann Coulter, Sexual Behavior, Alcoholism, Progressives, Homophobia, Anti-Semitism, Marital Status, Hate Speech, Sound Bytes, Single Women, College News

Here at the Huffington Post, Michael Rowe posted a lengthy and passionate excoriation of a certain tall, blond Republican woman. I share most of his s...

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Are You Single at Heart?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

To be single at heart, I think, means that you see yourself as single. Your life may or may not include the occasional romantic relationship, but you don't aspire to live as part of a couple for the long term.

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Now We're Supposed to Fret that She's Not a Mother?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Supreme Court, Glbt, Singled Out, Work Life Balance, Sandra Day O?Connor, Motherhood Penalty, Childless, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Single Mothers, Elena Kagan, David Souter, Living Single, Shriver Report, Pay Inequity, Media, Singles, Juggling, Myths, Family and Medical Leave Act, Dahlia Lithwick, Intimacy, Singlism, Stereotypes, Workplace, Hanna Rosin, Samuel Alito, Discrimination, Washington Post, Married Mothers, Single With Attitude, Politics News

Are you persuaded that Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is not gay, and that it should never have mattered anyway? Good, because now we can move on to her next supposed shortcoming.

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'Relationship' Is a Very Big Word

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Progressives, Matrimania, Scholarship, Meanings, Mentors, Friendships, Singlism, Children's Friendships, Sexual Relationships, Neighbors, Conducive Chronicle, Love, Blogging, Conferences, Family, Couples, Spouse, Romantic Relationships, Coworkers, Research, Solutions-Oriented, Best Friends, Compassionate, Journals, Myths, Asian Culture, Parent-Child Relationships, Education Level, Sex, Party, Siblings, Living Single, Relationships, Healthy Living News

There's something troubling about the use of the word "relationship" that excludes all relationships but romantic ones. All other adult relationships aren't just excluded in the wording; they're absent from the studies.

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Should You Marry that Rude, Stinky, Creepy Person Since You're Not Perfect Either?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Singled Out, Psychology Today, Backlash, Matrimania, Single Life, Media, Atlantic Magazine, Friendship, Marriage, Therapist, Caricatures, Singlism, Single Women, Couples, Marry Him, Issues, Condescension, Prejudices, Relationships, Books, Lonely, Singles, Myths, Feminism, Settling, Cnn, Clients in Therapy, Stereotypes, Jon Stewart, Living Single, Alone, Lori Gottlieb, Healthy Living News

Once upon a time, a reporter for a major magazine declared, in all seriousness, that women should just get married already - even if it means settling...

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Two Scholars Ask: What if Marriage Is Bad for Us?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Social Security, Singled Out, Divorce, Civil Rights, Sociology, Middle Class, Matrimania, Pop Culture, Race, Cultures, Laura Kipnis, Happiness, Friendship, Isolation, Institutions, Politics, Mate Choice, Singlism, Wealth, Retirement Benefits, Love, Health Care, Status Quo, Family, Advocacy, Benefits, Marriage, Lifelong Singles, Domestic Gulag, Myths, Hollywood, Loneliness, Work, Health, Single, Health Insurance, Blaming the Victim, Single With Attitude, Healthy Living News

Marriage is not for everyone, and people who want to stay single should not be targeted with singlism because of it.

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Who's Really Nuts, 20/20 or the 'Crazy Cat Ladies'?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Animal Rescue, Abc, Mental Health, Pets, Altruism, Cats, Elizabeth Vargas, Media, Film, Loss, Marriage, Loneliness, Stereotypes, Singlism, Expectations, Tv, Strays, Alienation, Single, Documentary, Crazy Cat Ladies, 20/20, Media Bias, Relationships, Healthy Living News

20/20 recently treated its viewers to a condescending pity-party for the women it calls 'crazy cat ladies.' The segment, with an accompanying article online, was so over-the-top that it was almost a parody of itself.

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"Our Bodies, Ourselves": 40 Years on, Still Circling the Globe

Bella DePaulo | Posted 05.25.2011

Read More: Health Policy, Sexual Orientations, Matrimania, Women?S Studies, Boston Women?S Health Book Collective, Media, Movies, Birthing, Consciousness-Raising, History, Singlism, Activism, Health Consumers, Disability, Translations, Health Care, Spirituality, Revisions, Medical Procedures, Aging, Social Change, Relationships, Menopause, Social Movement, Singles, Our Bodies Ourselves, Sexuality, Children?S Books, Childbearing, Going Viral, Health, Teens, Books, Diversity, Adults Without Children, Impact News

There are some truths about women's health that may now seem self-evident, but perhaps would not be so obvious if it were not for the ideas espoused, starting so long ago, by "Our Bodies, Ourselves."

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Shriver Report: Get Married, Have Kids, Then We'll Speak to Your Issues

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Workforce, Social Security, Singled Out, Pay, Divorce, Children, Matrimania, A Woman?S Nation, Gloria Steinem, Nonfamily Households, Media, Childless Women, Business, Ideology, Consciousness-Raising, Friendship, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Politics, Compulsory Mothering, Singlism, Discrimination, Breadwinners, Health Care, Couples, Family, Women?S Media Center, Taxes, Connection, Single-Person Households, Wives, Compulsory Marriage, Money, Women?S Movement, Suze Orman, Shriver Report, Singles, Maria Shriver, Time Magazine, Mothers, Gender, Education, Oprah Winfrey, Career, Workplace, Unmarried America, John Podesta, Adrienne Rich, Healthy Living News

I'll highlight some remarkable and conventional-wisdom-defying findings from the report that were published but never headlined.

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New York Times Reporter Thinks Single Women Fear Intimacy; I'm Afraid He's Wrong

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011

Read More: Friendship, Attachment, Romantic Relationships, Singlism, Relationships, Methodological Problems, Fear of Intimacy, Mate Poaching, New York Times, Media, Single Women, Tierneylab, Healthy Living News

New York Times reporter John Tierney recently described a study that supposedly showed that "single women are particularly drawn to other people's partners." But his interpretation is not supported by relevant data.

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