The majority of what I write has to do with the blessings that sobriety has brought to me, and most of the time that is truly how I feel about being sober. However, I wouldn't be an alcoholic if I didn't occasionally wish I could just throw caution to the wind and drink like everyone around me does.
In meetings, I kept hearing revelatory things -- about how resentments were like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, how rejection was God's protection and more that may sound clichéd now as I write but which literally changed my life. Basically, I fell in love with AA before I remembered that I hated it.
I loved getting drunk because the high allowed me to forget about everything else pressing or shameful in my life. I don't have that problem today. It is refreshing to have nothing to hide from in my life. I'm proud of where I am and who I am, because I put a hell of a lot of work into becoming that person.