I know what it's like to live with someone who terrifies you. I know what it's like to go to sleep sick and wake up scared. I know you. And I want you to hear me, as one survivor to another: It's not your fault.
God's wrath, properly understood, makes the good news about King Jesus truly moving. That is, we must understand that the wrath of God is most definitely not divine wife-beating, however poetic Piper thinks such a sentiment to be (yikes).
To be sure, many men who hit or emotionally abuse their partners were themselves abused as kids, but many men have also risen above their brutal childhoods and broken that cycle. Being abused doesn't automatically make you an abuser.
For those of you that are divorced and who have to live with the reality of a bullying or hostile ex; one who refuses to love your children more than he hates you, brain retraining may be your way to freedom.
Years ago, I escaped from 18 years of an abusive situation -- and I know that it isn't chains that hold you. I was not tied in a basement. I could have found a way to escape. But my chains were mental and proved to be a much stronger binding than any physical restraint could have been.
Perhaps the most destructive part of the problem is that no one is proposing ways to stop it from happening. There are programs for men who have been abusive, and programs for women who have been abused, but what about programs for men before they become abusive?
Domestic abuse in the military is the best kept secret and is a silent tragedy. Due to frequent moves, the majority of military families live on one income. Their only source of financial security for the family is the active duty soldier.
I hear from a disheartening number of women who write in to relate their stories of pastors who, in one way or another, advised them to stick with their abusive husbands. How could these good, well-intentioned men give advice that's so egregiously wrong?