Stamford

The Waiting Game

Jerry Zezima | Posted 05.30.2012

Read More: Dmv, Stamford Advocate, Port Jefferson Station, Humor, Books, Cecil B. DeMille, Stamford, New York, DMV Stress, New York DMV, Comedy News

As a motorist who has been driving (people crazy) for four decades, I am used to sitting in traffic for hours at a time.

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Read More: Diner, Stamford Advocate, Sausage, Bacon, Humor, 911, Cucumbers, Kitchen, Bagel, Coffee, Oreos, Cook, Eggs, Breakfast, Orange Juice, Tiffany's, Frisbee, Home Fries, Griddle, Toast, Stamford, Comedy News

I've never had breakfast at Tiffany's, but I have had breakfast at Zezima's. And I can tell you from personal experience -- because I'm the one who has made breakfast -- that my eggs aren't all they're cracked up to be.

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"Too Cuticle for Words"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 05.07.2012

Read More: Cocktail, Nurse, Columnist, Hydrogen Peroxide, Hangnail, Stamford Advocate, Humor, Band-Aid, Thanksgiving, Ginsu Knife, Obituary, Physician, America, Paronychia, Finger, Epsom Salt, Infection, Antibiotics, Doctor, Stamford, Bacitracin, Comedy News

I can just imagine the lead of my obituary: "Jerry Zezima, a longtime newspaper columnist and certified public nuisance, died yesterday of complications from a hangnail. He was 58."

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"Stand and Deliver, Then Run"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 04.08.2012

Read More: Stamford Advocate, Snakes, Humor, Stamford, Appliance Deliverymen, Comedy News

In my 36 years in journalism, I have never believed that you shouldn't let the facts stand in the way of a good story. But I do believe that the bare facts can make for the best stories.

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School Organizes Memorial Fund For 3 Connecticut Girls Killed In Fire

Posted 02.01.2012

Read More: Video, Stamford, Sara Badger, Stamford Christmas Fire, Madonna Badger, Lily Badger, Windward School, Grace Badger, John Russell, Impact News

As the Stamford community continues to mourn the death of the three little girls who died in a tragic Christmas fire, the school they attended is maki...

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Am I Antisocial?

Marian Salzman | Posted 03.25.2012

Read More: Telephone, Blackberry, Social Media, Interaction, Stamford, Hyperconnected, Antisocial, Trendspotting, Mumbai, Facebook, Networking, Texting, Communication, Technology News

How has this happened to me? How has this happened to so many of us? It seems that all the hyperconnectedness in today's society is siphoning away our energy for real-life interaction. Some people might call my lifestyle antisocial; I'd prefer to say I'm living the "new normal."

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Let's Get Physical

Jerry Zezima | Posted 03.19.2012

Read More: Triceps, Stamford Advocate, Biceps, Humor, Spider-Man, Canada, United States, Gym, People Magazine, Hollywood, Dumbbells, Melville, College, Cpr, Abs, Bradley Cooper, Heineken, Aarp, Muscles, Stamford, Comedy News

Even though I was recently edged out by Hollywood hunk Bradley Cooper as People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, I am proud to say that, for a guy with an AARP card, I still have a boyish figure.

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"That's All, Volts"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 02.26.2012

Read More: Light Bulb, Wife, Stamford Advocate, Electricity, Humor, Bedroom, Yaphank, Bathroom, Flatiron, Hair Dryer, Wires, Lights, Stamford, Hair, Comedy News

Whenever people admire my thick head of wild and crazy hair and ask how I keep it looking that way, I tell them I stick my tongue in an electrical outlet. That's why I was shocked recently when a fuse blew on what turned out to be a bad hair day.

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Man Tried To Save Grandchildren From Tragic Fire

AP | JOHN CHRISTOFFERSEN | Posted 02.26.2012

Read More: Christmas Day Fire, Stamford, Ny News, Connecticut-Fire, Fire, New York News, Lomer Johnson, Video, New York News

STAMFORD, Conn. — Two of the little sisters who died in a furious house fire early Christmas morning lost their way as a family friend tried to ...

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"The Price Isn't Right"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 01.29.2012

Read More: Daughter, Stamford Advocate, Baseball, Money, Humor, Bloody Marys, Clothes, Painting, Husband, Rich, Jewelry, Crutches, Wife, Tag Sales, Poor, Dog, Christmas Trees, Stamford, Cash, Comedy News

Get-rich-quick schemes are a dime a dozen, which means you'd have to have dozens of them to get rich. But my wife, Sue, and I recently came up with a get-poor-quick scheme: We had a tag sale.

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"Royal Response"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 01.16.2012

I sent the letter to William and Kate, hoping but not really expecting to hear back. Imagine my surprise and delight when the following letter arrived in the mail recently.

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"Branching Out"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 12.19.2011

Read More: Skylight, Stamford Advocate, Handsaw, Insurance, Chainsaw, Humor, Lumberjack, Nature, Paul Bunyan, Fireplace, Fire, Oak, Stamford, Trees, Comedy News

For weeks, I had asked the perplexing and ridiculous question: if a tree falls in my backyard, and I am there to hear it, will it land on my head?

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Mom Calls Cops On Son For Not Cleaning Up Mess

Posted 12.07.2011

Read More: Gets Arrested, Video, Dumb Crime, Stamford, Connecticut, Stamford Crime, Clean Room, Teen, Teen Arrested for Refusing to Clean Room, Luis Perez, Weird Connecticut, Connecticut Crime, Teen Refuses to Clean Room, Weird News News

If you don't pick up after yourself, you risk getting grounded -- or even arrested. Luis Perez was booked on disorderly conduct charges after his m...

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The Wrong Stuff

Jerry Zezima | Posted 12.04.2011

Read More: House, Prehistoric, Skis, Wife, Stamford Advocate, Yard, Bicycles, Children, College, Humor, Robber, Garage, Basement, Neanderthal, Stamford, Ice Skates, Comedy News

"You're not qualified to have adult children if you don't have a basement," Tim said. "Where are they going to put their stuff?" "In the garage," I replied.

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'How Now Waxed Brow'

Jerry Zezima | Posted 11.20.2011

Read More: Stamford Advocate, Madame Tussauds, Wax, Humor, Weed Whacker, Salon, New York, California, Bikini, Joan Crawford, Spa, Pruning Shears, Speedos, Groucho Marx, Museum, Stamford, Eyebrows, Comedy News

Before undergoing this increasingly common masculine procedure, which women get all the time, I had, indeed, only one eyebrow.

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"Put on a Hairy Face"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 10.25.2011

Read More: Stamford Advocate, Humor, Salvador Dali, Brooklyn, Robert Goulet, Queens, Lawyer, Hair, New York City, Gin, Nevada, Bartender, College, Beards, Tv, Artist, Father, Jail, Mustaches, Barbershop, Stamford, Reality Show, Comedy News

As runner-up in the 2010 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Contest -- a defeat I took with grace, humility and, of course, a stiff upper lip -- I know what it's like to lose by a whisker.

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"He's All Wet"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 10.09.2011

Read More: House, Subaru, Stamford Advocate, Wife, Home Improvement, Car, Mick Jagger, College, Humor, Landscaping, Construction, God, Power Washer, Keith Richards, Stamford, Comedy News

Guys think they know everything about home improvement, even when they don't, which is most of the time. But even if they're handy, they'll always defer to their wives.

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"The French Connection"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 09.25.2011

Read More: Stamford Advocate, Transatlantic, Gps, French, Humor, Atlantic, Airplane, Paris, France, English, Language, Airport, Cadenet, Boomer, Marseille, Wine, Stamford, New England, Luberon, Comedy News

Excusez-moi, s'il vous plait. I should say I'll always have Paris-Charles de Gaulle Airport, where I recently spent eight minutes (huit minutes) sprinting from one airplane (l'avion) to another.

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"The Weddings of the Century"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 08.29.2011

Read More: Columnist, Europe, Italy, Royal Wedding, Church, Diana, Stamford Advocate, Coronation, Prince William, Cambridge, Humor, Queen Elizabeth, United States, St. James's Palace, American, New York, France, London, England, Paparazzi, Charles, Seychelles, Kate Middleton, Long Island, Stamford, Dress, Weddings, Windsors, Colonial, Cadenet, Comedy News

Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge St. James's Palace Chapel Royal, Cleveland Row London, England SW1A 1DH Dear William and Kate: I a...

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Michelangelo's David Called Offensive In Britain

Posted 08.28.2011

Read More: David Statue, Michaelangelo's David, Michaelangelo, Stamford, England, Weird Art, Weird Britain, Weird-Lost-and-Found, Italy, UK Arts, Florence, David, Weird News News

What passes for art in Italy is too risque for residents of Stamford, England. Neighbors complained that a remake of Michaelangelo's "David" was in...

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"Oh, Henry"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 08.15.2011

Read More: Stamford Advocate, Hamsters, Pets, Raccoons, Humor, Frankie Valli, Squirrels, Rabbits, Birds, Mailman, Frogs, Mice, Male Bonding, Sports, Vermin, Cats, Wife, Killer, Maine, Tv, Fish, Gerbils, Dogs, Stamford, Mountain Lion, Comedy News

Over the years in my humble and frequently fur-flown household, I have been surrounded by women: one wife, two daughters and various animals. The pet...

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Sharpton's Rally for Equal Education for All

Mary Ann West | Posted 08.07.2011

Read More: Public Schools, Mayor Richard Moccia, Education Theft, Education, Suzanne-Vieux, CT NAACP, Stamford, Richard Moccia, Darnell Crosland, Tanya Mcdowell, Connecticut, Norwalk, Reverend Al Sharpton, Naacp, Education News

The site of the rally is the Norwalk, Conn. school where homeless mother Tanya McDowell had placed her young 5-year-old son last fall in order to get the best education for him.

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Corporations: Pillars of the Community?

Marian Salzman | Posted 08.06.2011

Read More: Foursquare, Euro Rscg, Austin, Local, Farmers Markets, Community, Entrepreneurs, Business, Csr, Hyperlocal, Doing Good, Outsourcing, Stamford, Corporations, Millennials, Digital, Hyperlocal Media, Patch, Pittsburgh, Brands, Creative Class, Quality of Life, Business News

There's a real paradox today in the meaning of the word community. On one hand, we're building our communities online and forming tribes with like-min...

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Senator Investigates Suspicious Trading By Hedge Fund SAC Capital

AP | By PAUL WISEMAN | Posted 07.22.2011

Read More: Raj Rajaratnam, Donald Longueuil, Senator Owa, Charles Grassley, Stamford, Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, Suspicious Trading, Hedge Fund, SAC Capital, Steven Cohen, Business News

-- Republican Sen. Charles Grassley is investigating about 20 instances of suspicious trading by the hedge fund SAC Capital, a spokesman for the sena...

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The Superintendent Who Doesn't Believe In Superman

HuffingtonPost.com | Joy Resmovits | Posted 06.28.2011

Read More: Teachers College, Michelle Rhee, Jeffrey Henig, New York City Department of Education, Waiting for Superman, David Bloomfield, Stamford, Montgomery County, Connecticut, Teachers Unions, Education Reform, Joshua Starr, New York City, Maryland, Education News

The newly-announced head of Montgomery County, Md., schools is not a fan of extremes. “There is no one reform model where one size fits all,” ...

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