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Stamford Advocate

"Nice Work If You Can Get It"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 05.10.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

By Jerry Zezima Whenever I attempt to do something I can't do -- sing, dance, perform surgery -- somebody tells me not to quit my day job. The only p...

"The Cool Cat in the Hat"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 04.29.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

By Jerry Zezima I have never been a man of many hats, not just because I am afraid I'd get stuck in doorways, but because my head, though empty, is t...

In Honor of Stamford's 375th Anniversary - Many Faiths, One Community, Stamford Proud

Rabbi Daniel Cohen | Posted 04.20.2016 | Religion
Rabbi Daniel Cohen

I would first like to thank Mayor Martin, Sandy Goldstein, Monsignor Digiovanni and my fellow clergy for your leadership in organizing this historic and important event in our city. We are truly grateful for this gathering of Many Faiths, One Community and Stamford Proud.

Spare the Frame, Spoil the Grandpa

Jerry Zezima | Posted 04.13.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

People have said for years that I will end up in the gutter. Little did I know it would happen when I went bowling with my 3-year-old granddaughter.

"This Little Poppie Went to Market"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 03.31.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

In nearly 38 years of marriage, I have found that food shopping is a matter of putting the cart before the horse's behind. This explains why I am the designated driver whenever I go to the supermarket with my wife, Sue.

Big Girl Weekend

Jerry Zezima | Posted 03.15.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

The surest sign that a toddler is getting big is when she becomes more mature than her grandfather. In the case of my granddaughter, Chloe, who is about to turn 3, that happened about three years ago.

"Poppie Goes to School"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 03.01.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

When I was 3 years old, I knew my ABCs. Unfortunately, I didn't learn the rest of the alphabet until I was in high school.

One for the Aged

Jerry Zezima | Posted 02.16.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

Now that I have reached 62, the age at which geezers such as yours truly are eligible to take Social Security payments, I have made an important discovery.

The Paper Chase

Jerry Zezima | Posted 02.02.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

As an old newspaperman living in a digital age, I am often asked if print will survive. My answer is yes, and for a very important reason: You can't wrap fish in a website. Besides, what are you supposed to do, housebreak your dog on an iPad?

'The Skin Game'

Jerry Zezima | Posted 01.19.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

For the past 40 years, which is how long I have been in journalism, I have had a nose for news. So I guess it was not surprising that the news I received recently involved my nose.

'Remembrance of a Cool Guy'

Jerry Zezima | Posted 01.05.2016 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

The first time I met Carmine Pikero, the man who would become my father-in-law, he was standing in the parking lot at Stamford (now Trinity) Catholic High School in my hometown of Stamford, Connecticut.

"The Zezimas' 2015 Christmas Letter"

Jerry Zezima | Posted 12.22.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

By Jerry Zezima Since I am in the holiday spirit (and, having just consumed a mug of hot toddy, a glass of eggnog and a nip of cheer, the holiday spi...

Chloe Meets Santa

Jerry Zezima | Posted 12.08.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

When Chloe and I met him, he certainly looked the part. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

No Thanks for the Memory

Jerry Zezima | Posted 11.24.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

I am so technologically challenged that my granddaughter, Chloe, who isn't even 3 years old, is more advanced than I am. I know this because she can use an iPad. I don't have an iPad, or an iPod, or even an iWatch, although I do have an iPhone and, according to my dentist, iTeeth.

All Pumped Up

Jerry Zezima | Posted 11.12.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

I am not much of a couch potato, not only because my wife won't let me eat potatoes on the couch while watching TV, but because I prefer to drink beer in the lounge chair.

Dishes Your Life

Jerry Zezima | Posted 10.28.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

As the very model of the modern mixed-up man, I have long been baffled by one of the great mysteries of domestic life: If a dishwasher washes dishes, ...

Depth of a Salesman

Jerry Zezima | Posted 10.13.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

Despite the lamentable fact that I couldn't sell skis in Vermont during the winter, or surfboards in Hawaii during the summer, or even beer to castaways on a desert island, mainly because I would have consumed it myself, I recently got a job as a salesman.

Poppie's Personal Trainer

Jerry Zezima | Posted 09.30.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

At the advanced age of 61 (my age is advancing while the rest of me is regressing), I am happy to say that I don't need to join a health club. That's...

When the Bough Breaks

Jerry Zezima | Posted 09.16.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

When I bought my house, which the bank owns but kindly allows me to pay for, I was thrilled to have a big yard with lots of beautiful trees. Apparently, the trees don't feel the same, which is why, after a recent storm, the oak was on me.

The Appliance Whisperer

Jerry Zezima | Posted 09.02.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

Inanimate objects are out to get me. I can deal with human beings, either by ignoring them or by telling them such dumb jokes that they ignore me. But machines have me baffled.

'Just What the Doctor Ordered'

Jerry Zezima | Posted 08.18.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

I began to wonder about my longevity when I read that researchers in the United Kingdom had created a survey that can calculate a person's chances of dying in the next five years.

'The Ice Cream Man Cometh'

Jerry Zezima | Posted 08.07.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

In the whole wide world -- which, as NASA has proven, is a whole lot wider than Pluto, a Disney character who can't hold a candle to "Sesame Street" star Elmo -- nothing is sweeter than my granddaughter, Chloe.

The Royal Treatment

Jerry Zezima | Posted 07.21.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

Since the birth of the little princess, people around the world have been abuzz with excitement. I refer, of course, to my granddaughter, Chloe. Peo...

Home Alone

Jerry Zezima | Posted 07.08.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

If Hollywood wants to make another "Home Alone" movie, this time with the Macaulay Culkin character all grown up but no more mature than he was as an 8-year-old in the 1990 original, I would be happy to take the role.

College Daze

Jerry Zezima | Posted 06.23.2015 | Comedy
Jerry Zezima

As soon as my lawyer gets out of jail, I am going to file a classless action lawsuit against the makers of "National Lampoon's Animal House" for theft of intellectual property.