Many divorced and remarried dads have deep insecurities about their new parenting roles, as if a dad's relevance is directly proportionate to the minutes and hours he spends with his children. But all dads are dads 100% of the time, just as all moms are still moms 100% of the time.
Read this book with your sweetheart. It could very well save your relationship or become the go-to resource anytime either of you forgets that your relationship must take priority if you want your relationship to flourish and your marriage to succeed.
Be yourself. Sounds pretty simple, right? This isn't just the best advice for stepmoms but for almost every woman who's trying to morph herself into the expectations she thinks other people have of her.
Having to share your partner with another woman because he had a child with her can be difficult enough, but when that woman didn't seem to get the memo that they've divorced, it can send your internal threat meter into the red zone.
Stepmamas -- you are Jeannie. And you are pissed off and irritated because you think your stepkids' mom is doing something and getting away with it. And you're not doing what she's doing because you play by a set of rules that she doesn't play by.
Who doesn't like a good kvetch session every now and then? Commiserating has its place but when commiserating is a habit, you could be setting yourself up to remain in an negative emotional black hole.
My mother and I grew up in divorced homes, and we endured the experience of having both stepmothers and stepfathers. This was, of course, a situation neither of us desired as children, and it caused us both to deal with a great amount of adjustment as adults.