Few things can rip your life apart like divorce. So it takes time to go through the healing process and move on. It will be awhile before you feel completely like yourself again, but there are some things you can do to help move the process along a little quicker.
I didn't want a divorce. It was almost the death of me. Of course there are the big losses we experience when going through a divorce but I wasn't prepared for the small things that represented the enormity of the loss of my marriage.
Along our journey, Leo and I both found ourselves navigating uncharted territory under harsh conditions. My conditions were more of the emotional variety, while his included swimming in icy rivers and eating raw bison liver.
It doesn't matter if something was done to you or by you. It doesn't matter if it was right or wrong. It doesn't matter if it was fair or unfair. What matters is that you alone are responsible for how you move forward.
The part of your brain that is controlling the loop is your ego. When you learn to harness your ego, you can transform the way you think to move past these self-destructive thoughts. When I learned this, my entire life changed.
I wish I could go back in time and let Newly Divorced Jenny know that things were going to be okay. I'd sit down with that terrified, sad woman, make her a dirty martini (which she didn't know would become our favorite cocktail) and tell her what I've learned.