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Susan Stiffelman

'I'm Too Tired to Enjoy My Kids!'

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 10.06.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

I wanted badly to be a mother and I love my children to pieces, but I am so exhausted that I wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead. I know all the magazine articles talk about taking care of ourselves, but I laugh when I think about getting a massage.

"Mommy, I WANT THE iPAD!"

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 09.28.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

I am concerned that we're robbing our children of some of the essential ingredients that make up a happy childhood: Creating art, building forts, or watching a hummingbird in flight-- things that cannot happen if we hand over a digital device.

After Divorce: Can You and Daddy Please Be Nice to Each Other?

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 09.23.2015 | Divorce
Susan Stiffelman

Divorce is an indication that our dreams of a loving spouse who accepts our mistakes have fallen apart. We may find ourselves on the other end of our once-beloved partner's rage. When children are caught in the midst of these interactions, it compounds their pain, and our own.

Thank You, Elizabeth Gilbert, for Encouraging the Hummingbirds!

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 09.15.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Please share this story with your daughter, and encourage her to approach life with wide-eyes and an open heart, following whatever bread crumbs capture her interest without trying to manufacture a calling.

How Can I Get My Kids to Read?

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 09.07.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

There's simply is nothing like getting lost in a book, and as you as you have rightly pointed out, more and more kids are turning away from the printed page in favor of tweets, posts, snippets, video shorts and sound bites. Here are my thoughts.

Teenage Girls, Mothers, and Aunties

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 08.31.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Until very recently, raising children almost always included the support of extended family and friends. These days, parents often feel terribly isolated as they attempt to meet the needs of their children, whether they are raising them on their own or with a partner.

When Your Husband Disagrees on Screen Time Limits

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 08.24.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Few parents are crystal clear about how much is too much when it comes to giving their kids access to technology. It hardly surprises me that two adults from different backgrounds and with different sensibilities don't see eye to eye on how much screen time their children should have. Here are my thoughts

Stacking the Odds for a Good New School Year

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 08.20.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

One of the strongest factors in determining a child's success and enjoyment of school is the connection they have with their teacher or teachers. If at all possible, I recommend that parents of timid children do whatever they can to visit school before it begins and stop by to say "Hi" to their new teacher and get a bit oriented to the new classroom.

Help! Our Toddler Has Terrible Tantrums!

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 08.11.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Our job as parents is to do our best to avoid sailing into the rough waters that can cause our little ones to lose their footing and fall apart. But no matter how hard we try to prevent our children from having tantrums, there may still be times when they cannot cope with whatever demand has been placed on them. Perhaps they're tired or hungry, or they could be feeling overly jealous or hurt.

Helping a Friend Cope With Miscarriage

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 08.05.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

What touched me about Mr. Zuckerberg's post was his willingness to speak honestly about the miscarriages he and his wife have gone through. I have borne witness to this loss from clients and friends, many who have kept the pregnancy a secret from those they see every day, if it was still early.

Husband and I Disagree on Having Son Try Soccer

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 07.28.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

it's important that we gently expose our kids to a few activities they might not have thought of. It's not necessary to force children to participate in an activity

An Unplugged Sigh of Relief

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 07.21.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Breathe in the sounds, the smells, and the peace of a summer day or evening with your kids. Let the beeps beep, the pings ping and the alerts land on deaf ears. Turn away from your screen, and toward your children. You won't regret it.

My Daughter Acts Out When Step-Sister Visits

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 07.16.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

With time, and plenty of opportunity to move through difficult feelings, your children should find their way toward building lifelong bonds. Meanwhile, slow things down, expect hiccups, and make room for the big feelings that come as tender hearts adjust to changes in life's routines.

My 6-Year-Old Blames Others When Things Go Wrong

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.30.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Avoid finger pointing. When you make a mistake, admit it -- without trying to say it was because of what someone did or didn't do. When we show our children what it looks like to take full responsibility for our actions, they are much more likely to freely admit when they've made a mistake.

Am I Shortchanging My Kids By Not Enrolling Them in Summer Activities?

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.17.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Kids need space in their day to wander aimlessly, finding ways to entertain themselves in a way that doesn't involve a battery or a plug. Healthy development is fostered by climbing trees, tapping out songs on the piano, building forts or simply lying in the grass and watching the clouds go by.

Kids Sharing a Room: Blessing or Curse?

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.10.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Allow your daughters to express their feelings about the new arrangement. While some kids adjust to sharing a room without a fuss, others struggle to adapt to new situations, regardless of how hard we try to make things good for them.

Negative 9-Year-Old Won't 'Go With the Flow!'

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.02.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Help your daughter become more aware of any insecurity or anxiety that might fuel her desire to be controlling. Check your judgments at the door.

The Work of Byron Katie, Parenting and Chores

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 05.26.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

I have tried everything to get my kids to do their chores, but it is a constant battle. Why can't they just do what I ask? Are all kids as lazy as mine?

5 Tips to Curb Kids' Cursing

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 05.19.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Nearly all children find it exciting to experiment with naughty words. How we handle this phase will play a large part in determining whether swearing becomes an ongoing problem or a temporary phase.

The Work On Parenting

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 05.26.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Most of us love our children dearly, but they can trigger our upset like no one else can! Feeling disrespected or unappreciated, we may shout, scold or threaten our kids, despite desperately wishing we could keep our cool.

My Sister's Son Bullies My Little Boy

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 05.05.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

If your boys are playing together and your nephew gets frustrated with your son, help him feel sad.

My 4-Year-Old Can't Calm Down!

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.28.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

My 4 1/2-year-old son is a sweet boy, but he seems to lose his ability to listen or calm down whenever he is deep in play with his friends.

Not Taking Our Children's Behavior Personally

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.15.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

Our children can push our buttons like no one else can, generating tremendous pain and frustration. Our challenge as parents, again and again and at every stage, is to avoid taking our children's behavior personally.

13-Year-Old Becoming a Mean Big Sister

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.08.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

It is very difficult to see our child being mistreated, but even more so when the unkindness comes from one of our other children. And on top of that, it's as though you "miss" the daughter you once knew. Here are some thoughts that may be of help

Parenting With Presence: An Eckhart Tolle Edition

Susan Stiffelman | Posted 06.07.2015 | Parents
Susan Stiffelman

When we understand that happiness is not something we can buy, we become more at ease with our children's complaints when they can't have something they want. But rather than criticizing them for not being grateful enough, we should help them navigate through their disappointment, validating their feelings and guiding them toward acceptance.