We hear so much about respecting boundaries that we tend to forget there's a world of difference between violating them and simply testing them. Every breakthrough -- whether in science, in art or in a one-on-one relationship -- involves crossing a boundary. And not all boundaries are as hard to cross as they seem.
Forget about the biology of it for second (that was mom's job), my dad never let on that he thought there was a difference in when I could speak, how I could learn, what choices I should have or what I should be allowed to achieve and contribute with my life. My dad never questioned that I would grow up to be his equal, to be the equal of my brothers. To my dad, my value as an equal to boys and men was a basic truth.
While Kwong may have been overly eager to show his hand to the audience, his points are valid. Humans enjoy both order and chaos of varying degrees. But it is the line between these poles that we really seem to desire; therein lies the journey of exploration and deciding what to do with this experience that really keeps us on our toes.
Kwong is right: people are born puzzle solvers. I've been inspired by how enthusiastically my children have learned language, absorbed math, mastered technology, become skilled athletes, and fallen in love. Life for them--for all of us--is an infinite variety of puzzles about what it means to be human and live in this world successfully.
It seems not to matter that, like so many veterans of other ugly wars, the young people who experienced the brutal Drug War had only become soldiers in the first place because of a "poverty draft." It also seems irrelevant to most that the longer these young conscripts to the Drug War lived with its brutality, the more violent they themselves became.
"Doctors pulled the bullets out, patched me up and sent me back to the same neighborhood where I was shot. No one hugged me. No one counseled me. No one told me that I would be okay." If that emergency room treating Senghur had been trauma-informed, could he have been provided with the attention he may have needed and not have perpetuated the cycle of violence by eventually killing another man?