Hello fans, and I am referring specifically to the one reader who emailed me asking where my recap was yesterday (thanks for validating me writing these things, "anonymous"). The rest of you, fine, you can read it too. Hi Mom.
Cheating on your wife won't just mess up your marriage -- it could seriously impact your future relationships, too. Because at some point, your new girlfriend is going to ask, "So, er, hey, what happened with your marriage?"
We start another season of the Bachelorette and it's more amazing than ever, because it has two bachelorettes pitted against each other in a death match. In the montage of both women, we see that Kaitlyn knows the word "deflect" and Britt is insane.
We open with Chris telling Britt that she isn't the Bachelorette! Holy #$%$ that was NOT what I thought. What the F. I predict some of the guys just up and leave when they realize Britt is gone. That's so totally bizarre.
In a world where we, as women, are all already comparing ourselves to one another, the last thing we need is an emphasis on this unfair comparison, and that's exactly what this Bachelorette announcement did.
There's something disingenuous about using the "privacy card" when you've signed up to be on a reality show about love (and -- let's admit it -- sex). There's something disingenuous about having sex with a person whom you know is in love with you.
You see, I have two distinct sides to me: (1) The Academic, and (2) The Hopeless Romantic. I can talk about these shows from both sides of my mouth. So I'm going to give you a little insight into my crazy thoughts and explain my struggle.
3. When someone tells you they love you and admits to being terrified at saying this, do not pout your bottom lip and make a baby talk noise like this person is an adorable toddler who just pooped on the potty for the first time.
I can forgive ABC for forcing the viewing audience to sit through Chris Harrison masterfully negotiating three hours of mostly fluff, because there were some pretty exciting moments that made me stand up and yell at my own television.
But it was the final 45 minutes of the show that culminated into what is probably the most drawn out on-camera break up in the history of the world. Instead of an exotic date, her drags Des over to a bench and proceeds to gently tell her that he's just not that into her.
We've made it through eight weeks of one girl's amazing journey to find love, and now there's only one thing to do before Desiree forgoes all individual room keys in lieu of exotic fantasy suites. That's right, it's time to head to the final four home towns of Zak, Drew, Chris and Brooks!