Feminism made women self-reliant so that we no longer depended on a man for money or to pay our bills. We can date as equals. We can even ask the guy out, call him, pay for dinner. Finally things were even.
Let's cast our gaze outward rather than inward. Let's look at the what the world expects of us and let's see what expectations need to change to accommodate our lives and ambitions -- let's not waste more time figuring out how better to contort ourselves.
As is common when one reaches a significant milestone, I have been reflecting lately on the ten years since my divorce and my quest to learn how to date with dignity, love myself and find someone amazing to love.
Women should "always end a phone call first," "let him take the lead," and never "tell him what to do." This is the sort of advice that the best-selling (straight) dating guide book "The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" gives to single women looking to snag a man.
If The Rules built a better husband-catching mousetrap, then The Rules of the Game built a smarter, sleazier mouse. The end result is a lot of creepy, desperate people obsessing about playing mind games.
When we feel taken advantage of we feel like a victim, but we won't fix the problem simply playing the blame game. Changing the dynamic requires more than words -- it requires actions, and here are five simple ways to shake things up.
The lies single women tell themselves may feel comfy, but by insulating us from sometimes unpleasant realities, they undermine our ability to make rational decisions based on complete information, thus sabotaging our long-term romantic goals.