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The Second City Network

Why a Woman Can't Be President

The Second City Network | Posted 04.16.2015 | Comedy
The Second City Network

As a woman, I think I know a thing or two about what a lady brain, lady body and lady heart are lady capable of. So naturally, Hillary Clinton's announcement Sunday left me cry-eating two pints of Ben & Jerry's and stress-plucking my body hairs -- which I probably would have done anyway, but still.

All-Male Hollywood Reboots Hollywood Should Make Besides Ghostbusters

The Second City Network | Posted 03.16.2015 | Women
The Second City Network

I would like to suggest a few films that originally featured predominantly female casts to be remade with all-male casts that in no way attempts to atone for or counteract or has anything to do with the reaction to the Girl Ghostbusters movie.

Know Your Drunks On St. Patrick's Day

The Huffington Post | Ron Dicker | Posted 03.16.2015 | Comedy

Imagine your angry drunk even angrier and your happy drunk even happier on St. Patrick's Day. The Second City Network's "4 Types of Drunks Out On S...

5 More Reasons You Can't Sue Applebee's

The Second City Network | Posted 03.10.2015 | Comedy
The Second City Network

I'm sure we can all agree that it is a sad day when a man burned by fajitas while praying can't sue Applebee's. But perhaps it will provide him -- and the rest of us mourning this tragedy of our broken judicial system -- some solace to know that he is not alone.

Pro Tips: Break Up Before Valentine's Day

The Second City Network | Posted 04.12.2015 | Comedy
The Second City Network

Love is patient; love is kind; love is a waste of time. Listen, love is great. In the movies. In the movies, love is great! In real life, it is distracting, time consuming and expensive. Very expensive.

Why We Should Care Very Deeply About Renée Zellweger

The Second City Network | Posted 12.23.2014 | Women
The Second City Network

It doesn't make sense that in an industry obsessed with youth and beauty and the notion that those things happen magically by the sheer might of a woman's will that a woman would do anything she could to maintain those things, does it?

It's Time to Start Ignoring Pope Francis

The Second City Network | Posted 12.16.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

He's supposed to be an old man speaking gibberish (Latin) that late night comedians can use to fill a couple minutes. If a Pope starts talking sense and being all... relevant... to modern times, he won't be funny anymore.

Visit Chicago's Worst Museums

The Second City Network | Posted 12.14.2014 | Chicago
The Second City Network

Though the city easily deserves the top spot in the rankings, a fair number of Chicago museums deserve to round out the bottom. Here's a sampling of the least popular museums Chicago has to offer.

7 Kinds of People Who Will See 'Gone Girl' This Weekend

The Second City Network | Posted 12.02.2014 | Entertainment
The Second City Network

The big-screen adaptation of Gillian Flynn's mega-blockbuster novel Gone Girl rolls into theaters this weekend, finally bringing us an answer to the burning question, "So is the ending the same as the book or not?" Here are seven kinds of people we expect to see in the audience.

Sbarro Started From The Bottom, Is Still Very Much At The Bottom

The Huffington Post | Avery Stone | Posted 08.18.2014 | Comedy

Remember the last time you grabbed pizza at Sbarro? Chances are, there may not have been a "last time." In this video, The Second City Network p...

American Women, It's Time to Declare a Sex Boycott

The Second City Network | Posted 09.09.2014 | Women
The Second City Network

We, all the women in America, refuse to have sex (with men), until all of our elected representatives start actually trying to get our votes.

Why I Bit Him: An Open Letter From the Manhattan Beach Shark

The Second City Network | Posted 09.08.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

As a lifelong shark, I am thoroughly disgusted by the libelous statements this "victim" is perpetrating in the media, and I'd like to use this opportunity to set the record straight.

Cool Things Corporations Can Do With Their New Religious Beliefs

The Second City Network | Posted 09.06.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

So hooray! Corporations are people! Religious, God-fearing folk, just like that sour old lady in the denim jumper who grimaces when she sees you buying pink citronella candles at the Walmart Express with your gay lover.

Is That Fireworks... Or Gunshots?

The Second City Network | Posted 08.31.2014 | Chicago
The Second City Network

One of the loudest American holidays is finally here -- the Fourth of July! If you're fortunate enough to live in Chicago's Austin, Auburn Gresham, Be...

10 Ways the George Lucas Museum Will Re-Write Chicago History

The Second City Network | Posted 08.25.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

The George Lucas museum will open in Chicago come 2018. Who better to explain how an entire society can go from a sparkling clean hi-tech vision of the future -- to a dirty broken-down totalitarian regime in the time it takes a baby to grow into Mark Hamill?

8 Things Guns Compensate For (Besides Your Penis)

The Second City Network | Posted 08.24.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

The joke is that the bigger the gun, the tinier the penis, and while that may be absolutely, 100-percent true in every single case, there are other things guns compensate for. Here are eight of them.

Now This Is The Ultimate Bridesmaid Dream Team

The Second City Network | Posted 08.18.2014 | Weddings
The Second City Network

You are the bridesmaid pick that everyone was a little bit surprised by, and it's certain that you will fade into oblivion after the wedding.

5 Reasons Teachers Are Overpaid

The Second City Network | Posted 07.07.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

I am shocked -- SHOCKED! -- to hear people advocating for higher salaries for American educators. Financial success and teachers go together like polar bears and ice: they desperately need it, and it's not like they're running out.

NSFW: Real Dating App Messages Read By Women Will Make You Happy You're Single

The Huffington Post | William Goodman | Posted 02.14.2014 | Gay Voices

For any single guys or gals out there who might be feeling a bit sad or lonely on this Valentine's Day, we have one thing to say to you: it could be a...

An Improviser's Guide to Valentine's Day

The Second City Network | Posted 04.15.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

Now that I'm a big-time expert on love, I feel compelled to share a Valentine's Day guide for improvisers spending this commercialized, exclusionary holiday together.

How to Behave Around Your Gay Teammate in the Locker Room

The Second City Network | Posted 04.14.2014 | Gay Voices
The Second City Network

If your gay teammate is showering at the same time, kudos to you for noticing he walked into the showers. Why are you watching him so closely, anyway? Seriously, are you cruising him?

11 Ways to Survive Chicago's Polar Vortex

The Second City Network | Posted 03.08.2014 | Chicago
The Second City Network

Holed up at home with your significant other/kids/dog/non-condoned space heater? Don't waste a perfectly good sub-zero day. Here are 11 ways you can have fun today (without losing any of the good parts of your face).

11 Ways To Find Love This Christmas According To Holiday TV Movies

The Second City Network | Posted 02.18.2014 | Women
The Second City Network

If people are giving you grief for skipping out on festive social plans in order to stay home and watch the quality programming offered this time of year on the ABC Family, Hallmark and Lifetime channels, then they just don't understand.

9 Benefits of Chicago's New Ventra Card

The Second City Network | Posted 01.23.2014 | Chicago
The Second City Network

To complete the rollout and prevent any possible glitches and outages, Ventra has enlisted the skills of the federal government to employ the same cutting-edge back-end technology used to power popular, heavily-trafficked successes like HealthCare.gov.

The Truth About Color, Comedy and The Second City

The Second City Network | Posted 01.23.2014 | Comedy
The Second City Network

The Second City was serious when it came to diversity, as I learned early on, and it came from the top down. Every person of color that has performed on a Second City stage has been instrumental in helping another person of color.