Least surprising news item of the week: former Department of Homeland Security director Tom Ridge's admission that he was pressured to raise the terror alert at the end of the 2004 campaign to help Bush win re-election. In his new book, Ridge says he felt the politically motivated manipulation was worth resigning over. But, of course, he didn't, saying nothing and staying on until after Bush won. Ridge thus joins the long line of key Bush administration officials who only come clean when it's time to cash in on their "honesty." Elsewhere, Bernie Madoff's mistress warmed the hearts of Freudians everywhere with her revelation that the famous felon "had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference." Is that why he needed to sport the biggest Ponzi in history?