Ultimately, I realized that in order to find my voice, I had to begin by decolonizing myself not just in how I present my black identity, but my trans identity as well. After coming to this realization, I decided to discontinue taking T after six months.
I thought if anyone knew my secret that I would have no future. The grand irony is that living authentically has opened doors I never thought possible. In this new era of trans visibility, no kid should ever have to erect their own fortress to hide who they are.
I know there are plenty of people who, looking back at their younger selves, have had occasion to think, "Man, what you don't know could fill a book." However, I'm unique in that the book filled with the things I don't know is an actual book.
As I was coming out as trans*, every corner of cyberspace I turned to said I had to feel like a "boy stuck in a girl's body." Every documentary and TV show taught me that I had to harbor an intense hatred for my body being wrong. This is the normative transgender narrative, and I don't fit it.