It's now been a year and a half and I am learning to trust myself. That has taken a lot of work on my part and I have cried many tears getting there as the fear of opening myself up to getting hurt again sometimes engulfs me.
Someday I'll go there. Someday I'll do that. Someday I'll have enough money and time for that trip. This is the internal monologue we have with ourselves. We let fear speak louder and louder until we succumb to it by staying comfortable within the areas that we can control.
There I stood at the foot of the Ferris wheel trying to decide what to do. The idea of leaving Aaron alone, where I could see him but not reach him if he needed me, frightened me more than was probably healthy.
One of the primary functions of religion is to help us live in the present, that is to stop and immerse in the power of the moment. One of the other functions is to pull us out of the moment to see the bigger picture.
Being authentic means trusting your gut and moving ahead. It means that many times, your questions will be more important than your answers. On a personal level, it's where deeper truths are discovered.
I believe that the ultimate gamble with the greatest potential gain in life is to trust yourself and that in so doing, you gain a level of freedom, authenticity, and peace that is unreachable any other way.
We do not trust our instincts. We forget we are hard-wired for well-being and success. To justify that such forbidden pleasure cannot be trusted, we revert to episodes in past history where we "blew it."