I find rebirthing to be excruciating. I am consciously participating in its unfolding. That is part of the pain. The awareness. The consciousness. The involvement. It is not going easily or quietly or calmly. It is agony. Filled with bottomless voids, and oh so many memories. Memories of the past and of what could have been. But will not be. And I struggle to make new memories.
From Arron, his death and now from Jim, I have learned so much about living life. Doing things that scare you, saying "yes" as much as possible, being exhausted in a good way. From Jim, I have learned that some risks are fun and have adventuresome outcomes and some are not worth taking. The trick is knowing the difference.