I have lived long enough to know that things that seem like the biggest pain to us are actually when growth is trying to happen. Pain should be held with wonder and with curiosity and not denied and suppressed. If a person has terrible angst, betrayal or hurt, they should take a step back and say, "What is trying to happen here? What do I need to learn here?" If the person can do this, they bring a positive energy to it that it can transform the situation into an important breakthrough.