You're allowed to fall in love with yourself. I promise. This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that's okay. It will also be the most amazing (albeit super gradual) experience you will ever have.
Women contend with societal pressures that men simply do not. To say that women are judged by their appearance profoundly understates the case. While both genders are subjected to weight bias, women's plight in this regard is far more intense than men's.