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Dear Arianna, Sleep Challenge 2010 Is Hard!

Posted: 01/09/10 10:14 AM ET

Dear Arianna,

Reading your Sleep Challenge blog has inspired me. I decided to try it along with you and Cindi. I've always wanted to sleep with you both and figured this is my chance.

So, I started yesterday. I avoided coffee from noon on, put my daughter to bed at 7 p.m., and did some work in my office until 9 p.m. (I pretend I'm working on a screenplay, but I'll admit I only emailed holiday photos.)

At 9:30 p.m. I felt drowsy, so I quickly washed my face, slathered on the usual seven layers of cream, and snuggled into bed by 10 p.m. I was so proud, and dare I say ... a little smug. I thought about all the things I would accomplish today because I would be fresh and sparkly. I would exercise, play with my daughter, write dazzling dialogue, flirt with strangers. All because I would be rested.

But then I did something very wrong. I checked Twitter. And laughed. And started tweeting back. Soon, it was after midnight and I was wide awake. I realized what I'd done and quickly turned off my iPhone, computer, and brain. But I stared at the ceiling until 2 a.m. ... thinking of putting a mural up there. Maybe clouds? Too "dentist's office?" How about thunderclouds?

Anyway ...

At 6:30 am, my daughter jumped on my neck. I bolted awake, because I knew it was a monster trying to eat me. Sure, then she sweetly snuggled, but my heart was pounding in probable cardiac arrest. As my daughter snoozed gently on my numb arm, I knew there was no way I could go back to sleep. I counted ... four-and-a-half hours. I had gotten four-and a-half hours of sleep and have a very full day today.

At 7 a.m., I rolled (literally) out of bed onto the floor, crawled to my daughter's room, got her dressed for school and faced this day.

I feel fuzzy. The mirror shows me my face, like a piece of origami, has not unfolded yet. And by now, I should be on the treadmill, then writing. But it is taking me two cups of coffee to wake up, so I sit at my computer and read the Huffington Post, trying to remember what I was going to do last night. Oh yeah ... sleep more.

I will try again tonight.

Love, Nia

 
Dear Arianna, Reading your Sleep Challenge blog has inspired me. I decided to try it along with you and Cindi. I've always wanted to sleep with y...
Dear Arianna, Reading your Sleep Challenge blog has inspired me. I decided to try it along with you and Cindi. I've always wanted to sleep with y...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
spawoman
06:44 PM on 01/12/2010
Nearly three hours of tweeting? Sheesh. What a waste.
08:30 PM on 01/10/2010
Insomnia can be especially difficult for those with strong will power because falling asleep is all about letting go. Artists are also especially vulnerable to it because they tend to build monuments out of small problems and occasional sleeplessness caused by too busy a life, possibly, can be one of them. My best suggeston before retiring: Read a newspaper and have a donut and coffee. Works for me!
10:54 PM on 01/11/2010
yeah, coffee, ok, brilliant advice.
07:32 PM on 01/29/2010
Right. Two cups better. Reverse psychologiy, works like a charm. Laugh at it as if it doesn't matter and it will stop mattering. Insomnia mainly psychological anyway. (Unless we're talking morbid insomnia in which the sleep "muscle" cramps. This often occurs on battlefields and sleeping pills are useless against it.But very rare. In these cases maintainence dosage of "compazine" usually works to get sleep muscle back in synch in just a few weeks. Also stops low grade hyperventilating which may be part of problem.
07:42 PM on 01/10/2010
Hi Nia --

The best help with getting to sleep is, if you have a TV in your bedroom, remove it. Replace with books. Also, sex helps. Every night would be great but national average is twice a week -- so give it a shot. It's amazing how it can put you to sleep. Free, fun and hey, he's right there next to you anyway...

Good luck. And no twittering!!!!
09:59 PM on 01/11/2010
I agree with getting rid of the TV. I don't agree with the books. I had a book shelf in my bedroom. It was overflowing with books I wanted to read, but just didn't have time. The bookshelf became a to-do list I was staring at as I tried to go to sleep. I moved all the books and just keep the book I am currently reading on the night stand. To each his own, but that is working much better for me.
07:39 PM on 01/10/2010
Hi Nia -- honestly, the best thing you can do is if you have a TV in your bedroom, remove it. Replace with books. And no computer, iphones, etc...and also, sex helps. Sex every night -- well, at least (the national average) of twice a week -- it's amazing how it helps. Free and fun! Good luck with it.
07:06 PM on 01/10/2010
Oh wait, that reminds me. I forgot the most important tip to getting a good night's sleep: DONT HAVE KIDS.

That is all.
11:13 PM on 01/11/2010
Happy:

You know of that which you speak. Kids of any age are the greatest deterrent to sleep. Even if they are full of rainbows and baby kisses, they worry us... all .... the.... time.... especially as we ..... try to .... drift off to ....... sleep. I love mine but I wish I'd known about the sleeplessness lasting forever. Some evil grandparents told me it would be temporary. They're now on my "hit list."
;-)
03:16 AM on 01/12/2010
I truly believe that people underestimate the long term detrimental effects of poor sleep, and that evidence is mounting that corroborates my feelings on this. I think it can lead to shortened life spans, all kinds of short and long term medical problems, maybe even mental illnesses. In the short term, it can easily ruin your day. When I sleep too late, or make a radical change in the time I go to sleep between one day and the next, I know I pay for it throughout the next day, and sometimes beyond that.

Sleep advice for someone who has kids... I don't know what to suggest. Sell them? I left mine in a shopping mall in Iowa seven years ago. Never looked back. Gosh I miss them and all, and I sure hope they're doing okay and eating their veggies... but not as much as I missed having a good night's rest. ;)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Debby Carroll
Author, Raising Amazing Children
11:59 AM on 01/10/2010
Think it's hard now? Wait 'til your sweet daughter grows into her 20s. You may never sleep again. I have three and although they are "amazing" (I have to say that, it's the name of my blog, http://raisingamazingdaughters.wordpress.com), and very funny, I must admit that as I am trying to fall asleep at night, the thing that usually keeps me awake is running through their lives in my head and worrying about all of the ways I can no longer make them happy. Neurotic much? Yes, I'm afraid so and during the waking hours, it's mostly good. But, once darkness falls, worries creep in. At least I maintain a sense of humor during the day!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Micki Pacific
01:03 PM on 01/10/2010
With 4 kids ranging 16, 18, 18 and 20-ish, as a single mom I get some of those "after dark" moments too. They are all doing amazingly well, and I've had to do some work around letting go. It's easier to do that with the two that are in college.
I don't worry about the ways I can no longer make them happy, but with so much of who "I" am wrapped up in their lives over the past few decades, who "I" am without them brings up a big question that has been put on the back burner. I'm trying to ease into answering that one gracefully.
04:38 PM on 01/10/2010
As one struggling with the same issues, I sympathize and wish you luck.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:16 AM on 01/10/2010
Hi Nia - Great blog -

I teach a practice that may be of some help ..

If you have a chance we speak of it in our Tuesday blog Jan 12th

BE THE CHANGE - MEDITATE

Ed
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
waitforme
05:39 PM on 01/10/2010
(Oh, no.)
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Tsakonas
Architect
09:55 AM on 01/10/2010
I have a theory that coffee and other sources of caffeine don't "give" you extra energy, they steal from the energy that you haven't used yet. Hence the crash and burn. Those who use sleeping aids often get addicted to the crutch and become tolerant of it's effects. The more you use, the more you need. My wife was addicted to PM meds and found it harder and harder to get to sleep. After going through the painful withdrawal symptoms, she now has no problem getting sleep naturally, by simply laying her head on the pillow. I'm sure MJ was going through a similar experience of taking it up a notch every time the next more potent drug stopped working.
11:55 AM on 01/10/2010
Coffee depletes your adrenal glands. That's why the more you drink, eventually, you will be very tired. Adrenal glands are better left alone by the ill effects coffee has on them; one cup is enough.
08:02 PM on 01/10/2010
That "everything in moderation" stuff is always easier said then done though.
09:52 AM on 01/10/2010
I'm on Day Four of the Sleep Challenge (thanks, Arianna, for the idea), and I'm chronicling my efforts on my blog, masondixonknitting.com. Early things I'm noticing:

1. Ripple effect. This simple alteration (aiming for an 11 pm bedtime) means I have to get off the computer by 10:30 (ABSOLUTE RULE!), get my kids to bed earlier so I can have my personal time, and get Hubbo to aim for bedtime, too. These are all good things!

2. Puritanical lifestyle. Getting sleep means ditching all the fun stuff: drinking, staying up late, coffee whenver I want it. I'm feeling really great with all this sleep, so I'm trying to tell myself that this newfound Puritanical lifestyle is worth it. I really believe it is. But damn, no coffee after noon?

3. Weirdly hard. My readers are sharing their efforts at the Sleep Challenge, and it's a chorus of trouble: babies waililng, husbands snoring, TV, Twitter, too much work to do, hiccups, mid-sleep wakeups . . . It's so hard for everybody to shut out the families and distractions that are keeping them up.

4. Focus required. We spend so much time thinking about food. Sleep is just as important. I try to focus on this, because the results are going to be worth it. I'm already feeling a difference--no midafternoon sag, a clearheadedness.

Good luck, Nia! Can't wait to read that screenplay!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
waitforme
05:21 AM on 01/10/2010
Good for you for doing your own research and taking care of yourself.

A list should periodically be put out which shows which areas of health do NOT get taught in medical schools. Along with sleep needs and problems -- and its relation to some medications a patient may be taking ( which should be the first question a doctor asks or looks up), i would suggest:
food and nutrition;
nature deprivation;

need for body movement (exercise);
need to pause and reflect, meditate, create, stare into space -- all these things could be 'prescribed'.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ed and Deb Shapiro
05:49 PM on 01/10/2010
Oh, no!

May all things go well for you!

In joy,

Ed
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
waitforme
04:44 AM on 01/10/2010
As to Nia's getting up or staying up to Twitter, this is bright light going into the brain. I heard a doctor on the radio saying, incidentally, that a study suggested that when women get up at night and put on white (or 'blue') lights that this practice correlates with getting breast cancer. If women turned on red lights (inside the house, not outside the front door, of course), this didn't harm the body. I extrapolate from this that, whether or not breast cancer is that related to bright lights during periods when the body wants to sleep, bright, white, lights certainly do confuzzle the brain waves and make it harder to go back to, or to get to, sleep. It is suggested for children who have a hard time getting to sleep to turn down the lights an hour (or half hour) before bedtime; this encourages the brain to develop its own melatonin, a hormone related to sleep.
Therefore, keeping away from the brightness of the computer or
IPhone is deeply helpful when planning on a
good night's sleep. If one wakes up and needs to write, instead put on a red bulb and write notes
[Spaces due to IPhone -- unable to edit.]

as long as you like on a pad of paper (remember those?). Put a
red bulb as a night-time light in your bathroom so you don't jar your
brain from its sleep waves when you get up to pee.
Hope this helps.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thegirlnextdoor
12:13 PM on 01/10/2010
excellent use of confuzzle"!

love the lighting tips.
01:22 AM on 01/11/2010
Now that's a suggestion that will be fun to try! I'll put a red christmas tree light in the bathroom!
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mlaiuppa
Pres. Sarcasm Society. Like we need your approval.
04:15 AM on 01/10/2010
Um. You sent your daughter to school. But you didn't have to go to work. You stayed home. And you're not really working at home. So...why not go back to bed for another few hours sleep? Or you could get in a nice nap before your daughter arrives home after school.

It's 8 hours sleep. You don't have to do it between 10 pm and 6 am.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
phatHawaiian
03:25 AM on 01/10/2010
Sleep contest? Splendid!! Finally, Something I'm really good at.
02:04 AM on 01/10/2010
Michael Moore joked that liberals only see the sunrise when we go to bed late. That sure applies to me.
12:39 AM on 01/10/2010
I think we should go to sleep in accord with our body's rhythms. People are different--there are those that like to go to bed early, and like to rise early. Their hormones accommodate that, and compel that habit. We are run by our hormones.

There are those that seem to function better, and feel better, by rising later, and going to bed later. Of course, the corporate life doesn't care, and society runs on an early schedule, which is unhealthy for some people. So they suffer, but try to recover on weekends.

But, I should say, regardless what time you want to be going to bed, a little discipline with the computer, tv, and other electronics. And if you have no discipline, shut your electronics down. If you can't use good judgment, enforce it, as a parent would with a child!
02:09 AM on 01/10/2010
The early schedule is definitely more of an American/corporate thing rather than a natural human thing.
04:14 AM on 01/10/2010
I would think that an early schedule would be the natural human pattern from an evolutionary standpoint. Go to sleep shortly after sundown, and wake up at dawn. We are not designed to operate after dark.
08:52 PM on 01/11/2010
Yeah, on a percentage basis, out of everyone I know, I think the early risers (natural) are outnumbered at least 3:1 by the others. And they are not the most productive either. They tend to be somewhat less active (or tired) and less productive in the afternoon and evening, or they're napping.

I can work well into the night, and very productively and with little fatigue, provided I can sleep with my body's natural cycles.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thegirlnextdoor
03:33 AM on 01/10/2010
Yup. That's what I do as much as I can. It's 12:30 am. I'll hit the hay and read a while and wake up tomorrow when I wake up. But it has taken some organizing to have that freedom.
08:50 PM on 01/11/2010
Good job!