Blame Game

You ask any of these big shots a question and they answer, “I’m not going to play the blame game with you.” Or with anybody else, which they don’t say.

Of course they’re not going to play the blame game because they are involved in a cover up which is so successful the American people don’t have an inkling. The reason they refuse to play the blame game is because there is a serious blame shortage.

It is easier for a soldier in Iraq to get decent equipment than it is for an Iowa politician to obtain a minimal amount of blame. Blame, once a commodity almost as common as bread, is now in short supply. At the Chicago Mercantile Exchange trading in blame futures has had to be stopped three times in the last month when daily limitations were exceeded. There is a blame crisis in the U.S. and nobody’s talking about it.

When you can get somebody in the administration to admit off the record that there is a blame shortage, they explain it’s because of Katrina. Everything is getting dumped on her these days. Whatever has gone wrong, and it’s “Oh, not our fault! It’s the Russian bitch. She did it.” So for those few reporters enterprising enough to ask questions about the blame shortage, the word they get back is that the New Orleans area blame factories went down with the refineries.

What about foreign blame? Couldn’t at least some of the blame gap be made up importing blame? American consumers will not buy French blame. Korean blame, which some say is superior to American made, can’t be used because only the mentally challenged can read the directions. The Brits no longer make the stuff and the Canadians are using all they manufacture.

Once people are hipped to the blame shortage, a lot of things begin to make sense. Osama, not dead and very alive? Afghanistan a mess? Iraq a nightmare? Gas at 75¢ a thimble? Your HMO says you can learn to live with gangrene of the big toe? New mosque in your neighborhood? The media isn’t answering these questions. Googling doesn’t help. And President Bush is the worst. Ask him and he says, “There’s enough blame to go around.” Like hell there is.