Fortes Fortuna Juvat (Fortune Favors the Brave)

George Bush is a lucky, lucky lad. Lucky to be elected and lucky ever since.

His second stroke of good fortune was 9/11. Six months into a dwindling presidency and a nose diving stock market, 19 fanatical Arabs bailed him out. After he recovered from the shock and found the onions to make a personal appearance at the World Trade Center ruins where, luckily, they put a fireman’s coat on him and passed him a bullhorn, he lucked into becoming President Strong Leader.

Strong Leader got stronger by invading Afghanistan, lucked out when his promise to get Osama, dead or alive, was forgotten in the excitement of his becoming the new Abe Lincoln, freeing the women of the Middle East from sharia law. Having emancipated the ladies he drew four aces off the top of the pack and morphed into Johnnie Freedom Seed, sowing democracy across the Moslem World. But Iraq turned out to be mission not quite accomplished, Osama started sending annoying video postcards, Social Security refused to reform itself and it looked like George’s luck was running out.

Not so. George is Dame Fortune’s kid. She had to put the match to some firecrackers to yank her boy back up in the ratings and she did. The terrorists began blowing up night clubs in Bali and commuter trains in Madrid and with each explosion George’s Strong Leader image got far stronger. When prices, casualties, questions about the FBI and the CIA formed a cloud of gnats around his head, Lady Luck was there. Terrorists blew up the London underground and George had taken over from the fabled Lucky Pierre as the luckiest person in recorded history.

All of a sudden it looked like George’s luck truly had changed. Things were going to hell in a handbasket in Iraq and Cindy Sheehan, the gold star mother, parked herself on George’s front lawn. His Strong Leader numbers started down again.

Katrina luckily washed Cindy off the front pages but unluckily doublecrossed George and damn near ruined him. When Dame Fortune adopts you, you never run out of second chances. Dea Fortuna conjured up Rita for him to regain his Strong Leader status.

If that does not work, she is going to give up on hurricanes for George. She’s going to try him out on earthquakes. Watch it, California.