The GOP Shark Has Officially Jumped Over the Moon

There are elected United States senators looking into a theory that the president of the United States is planning to invade Texas, which is in the United States. Right now, today, in 2015.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Between the LA Clippers beating the Spurs in Game 7, the super boring "fight of the century", and the unfortunate and untimely passing of David Goldberg; I'll admit, I've been pre-occupied. So I guess I missed that there is actually a right-wing theory endorsed by GOP Presidential contenders to investigate if President Obama and the United States are planning to invade Texas?

This isn't The Onion, this isn't a joke. That is really something Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and others have said they are "looking into." Okay, I think it's time we said it, the GOP hasn't just "jumped the shark," they have taken the shark and hurled it over the moon in the worst movie since Plan Nine from Outer Space.

Invading Texas? To what end? To become part of the United States? Though the lawmakers in the Longhorn state may have you believe otherwise, Texas is already part of the United States. Maybe if the GOP candidates endorsed common core or any educational standard other than trying to make the Bible the official book of their state, they would know that. I am going to re-state this because it sounds too stupid to believe.

There are elected United States Senators looking into a theory that the President of the United States is planning to invade Texas, which is in the United States. Right now, today, in 2015.

It is high time we come out and call embarrassing absurdity what it truly is. The GOP and their flock don't know the difference between weather and climate, and hold votes on the Senate floor to decide if humans cause climate change. Yeah, because that is how science works. Hey GOP, you know your usual refrain, "You're not a scientist..." you should stop the sentence there. You're not.

And if you want to use voting to decide things, then here is some math for you. 51% of Senators think climate change isn't caused by humans. Well, 84% of Americans disapprove of the Congress the GOP runs. So, I'll agree climate change doesn't exist, if you agree that 84% of you SUCK!

President Obama was absolutely right in using his thinly veiled "anger translator" to call out the GOP's stupidity on climate change and so many other issues. Distraction through the theater of the absurd is one thing, but panicking millions of Americans into thinking America is invading America is quite another. Yes, it says a lot about those millions that they too are so ill-informed and eager to hate that they actually believe the hysteria, but enough is enough.

You're all a huge global laughingstock and I cringe every time any erudite friend outside this country asks me "so, what about that Ted Cruz?" Every democracy has its extremists, and your 15 minutes are way beyond up. Today someone announced an app to block all things Kardashian from your tablet or browser. That is a good start - can we extend that to all things GOP? To all things right-wing-crazy?

Rational Americans have put up with your insanity for too long. When one guy gets injured by an Islamic person, you froth at the mouth to call it a terrorist attack. When dozens get killed by a Christian, you rush to label it a random act of violence. The "cost" of freedom. Ask the people at the business end of the bullet, I am sure it is a price they didn't want to pay.

Your desperation is so transparent it is comical. You've lost on gay marriage so badly, you're trying to theologize America into some country it was never meant to be, and won't be. And, exactly what religion are you preaching anyway? Even the Presbyterians have accepted gay marriage, so it can't be Christianity you're trumpeting.

Whatever it is, we don't care. We've had enough. Independents, liberals, fiscal conservatives; whatever you call them, they are on to your scam, and they aren't voting for you. Whoever your benefactors are should buy you an island so you can run it. In the meanwhile, the rest of us will be truly happy in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot