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Nicole Breedlove
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Nicole Breedlove is a nerdy, masculine-identified, published author and activist, as well as the president and CEO of, a free social networking site for lesbians of color.

Entries by Nicole Breedlove

Being Black While Unemployed

(3) Comments | Posted March 27, 2015 | 2:00 PM

I moved to Omaha, NE almost two years ago. I was told this was the Come Up state. Meaning, if you needed a job then this is the place to be. If you need to start a business then this is the place to be. The streets are lined with...

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17 Rules for Police Dealing With People of Color

(0) Comments | Posted August 15, 2014 | 11:19 AM

I remember reading a news article about the sheer number of molestations & rapes that occur in the US. I thought this would be your typical article about sexual assaults--statistics and graphs printed for shock value. And the proverbial list of what women should do to protect themselves. Instead the...

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Clear the Smoke, I'm Coming Through

(2) Comments | Posted April 23, 2014 | 12:55 PM

Lately I'm beginning to feel like a minority in the lesbian community. As an African American lesbian it's very rare to find a woman who likes to date slim women. Thick women are all the rage. And if you don't date a thick sista you risk having your Black card...

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God Said Kill... A Lot of Things

(0) Comments | Posted March 28, 2014 | 10:44 AM

This morning I read a story about a woman who killed her four-year-old son because she thought he was gay. Four-years-old! I know a lot of boys around that age who think nothing of putting on their mothers high heel shoes or playing with a purse or a...

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Sodium: The Silent Killer of African Americans

(3) Comments | Posted March 12, 2014 | 7:56 PM

My grandmother was Southern, and she grew up on Crisco. It is a cooking oil, but it looks like white-colored Vaseline. There it sat in two cans on her stove. One was used for chicken grease, the other for fish grease. Sometimes it was reused more than once. If you...

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Pray Less, Do More

(1) Comments | Posted February 28, 2014 | 10:53 AM

Sadly, there isn't a shortage of tragedies in black communities. Read any newspaper in any part of the country, from Detroit to Omaha to Chicago to New Orleans, and there will be a young black boy or girl who has been killed violently. They may have been murdered at the...

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Childhood Fat?! No Way! Adult Fat? Sure!

(0) Comments | Posted February 24, 2014 | 11:15 PM

When I was in grade school we had to pass a fitness test for Physical Ed. Sit-ups, jumping jacks, pushups, chin-ups, suicides and track. We were timed for one minute during each task and the teacher recorded the number. By the end of the school year you needed to have...

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Black or Gay: Choose One

(7) Comments | Posted January 7, 2014 | 4:35 PM

Good Morning America anchor Robin Roberts has come out of the closet. Hooray for her! So few African-American women, specifically those in the public eye, feel safe enough to do it. There is such a backlash from it. You can be a rapist or even a child killer, which is...

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Gratitude for the Hetrick-Martin Institute

(4) Comments | Posted December 3, 2013 | 6:33 PM

I knew something was different about me as early as age 5. I didn't know what to call it, but I felt it. Then, in second grade, I saw her: Miss Webb.

She had smooth, chocolate skin, long legs that seemed to go on forever, and she always smelled so...

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Happy National Genocide (Thanksgiving) Day!

(103) Comments | Posted November 25, 2013 | 5:40 PM

Thanksgiving has never been a celebratory holiday in my family. Whenever my family did cook we always gave thanks that all the Native Americans weren't wiped out when Columbus "discovered" America. I never understood why my family was so against Thanksgiving. In school we drew turkeys with our hands and...

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Lesbian Gynecological Health

(22) Comments | Posted September 20, 2013 | 11:59 PM

I recently corresponded with a young lesbian of color, age 27, who has never had a gynecological exam. I couldn't fathom why. When I asked her, she replied that she doesn't have sex with men, so there is no need. I have to say that I was shocked. Even though...

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Should I Pay for a Date Simply Because I Am the Stud?

(14) Comments | Posted September 6, 2013 | 10:22 PM

When I go out on a date, I always have the same dilemma: pay for the dinner or go dutch? Because I am a masculine-identified woman, I usually end up paying. If she invites me out, I pay. If I invite her, I pay. I am what you would consider...

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Ex, Allow Me to Show You the Door

(4) Comments | Posted July 5, 2013 | 5:22 PM

I have a small, tight circle of friends so we all know about each others breakups, hookups and other relationship drama. And out of all of my friends I was proudest to say that I was friends with a majority of my exes. I looked at it as a badge...

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Avoid These Online Dating Profile Traps

(8) Comments | Posted May 9, 2013 | 9:00 AM

Many of us lead very hectic lives. We are either working, in school, parenting or doing all three. Who has time to go to a bar or club to meet a woman? Alas, online dating saves the day. But how do you navigate all those profiles? How do you decipher...

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Black-Lesbian-Owned Businesses Are Endangered

(13) Comments | Posted April 24, 2013 | 2:05 PM

"We don't support our own. That's why we can't get ahead." For my entire life, I have been hearing that black folks don't support each other. Of course we do, right?

As the owner of a business, I can personally attest to how difficult it is to be a business...

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LGBT People of Color: Our Lives Are Valuable

(8) Comments | Posted March 19, 2013 | 4:01 PM

It is quite common for the media to sensationalize stories. After all, their first goal is to sell, not to inform or educate. It is also common for the media to ignore LGBT people of color who are victims of hate crimes. Matthew Shepard. Charles Howard. Teena Brandon. In the...

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Why I Created a Free Social Networking Site for Lesbians of Color

(18) Comments | Posted March 6, 2013 | 4:59 PM

In 2009, after ending another relationship, I found myself single again. At 39 years old, I found that the club scene was no longer a viable option for meeting lesbians of color. Women my age either left the club early or were already coupled up. So I decided to try...

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