THE BLOG

4 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Isn't Your Type

04/26/2016 09:23 pm ET

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One of things I observe most with my coaching clients is that they're often confused about what to be picky about in dating.

If you're the woman that has a "type" and only dates a "type," it's highly likely this is why you're still single.

Yes, it's true that we all have preferences in life. However, when you pigeonhole yourself into a certain "type" of man, it's a big mistake in dating.

Dating your "type" is easy and familiar. It's also limiting and keeps your pool of available men narrow.

Rather, when you're crystal clear on your values and focus on how a man makes you feel and treats you, the relationship you crave and deserve will show up faster than you think.

Here are four reasons you should date a man who isn't your "type":

​1. To expand your perspective

The opportunity to learn about another person's life experiences and culture can be enlightening. You may discover you like some of his traditions better. Staying in your "type" leaves out so many people from whom you might learn.

2. To eliminate the judgment

If you're prizing certain traits over others like income level, education and pedigree you're judging those attributes as superior and discounting a plethora of men who don't possess them. It's risky to go out of your comfort zone, but consider what's not been happening so far in your dating life -- the right man hasn't shown up.

3. So you don't miss out on your most aligned partner

Looks do matter, but, personality, compatibility and chemistry can change someone from "not my type" to the love of your life. The old "judging a book by its cover" because your "type" is 6 foot with blonde hair and blue eyes, is hindering your ability to see the hundreds of good men all around you. What's true for women, in particular, is that they'll find a quality in a man that is appealing and over time find him more physically attractive.

4. To become aware of how your type manifests itself

Are you drawn to specific personality traits? Think about your last relationship and ask what those traits were that first attracted you to the person. If the qualities you are being drawn to aren't making you the best version of you, make an effort to change that.

Be conscious of how other personality types complement you or hold you back, and use this new-found wisdom in your next relationship.

Consider that maybe your "type" really isn't working for you. This is a clear sign that you should be looking outside the familiar. You won't know until you try!

What happened when you dated someone who isn't your "type"? Post a comment below and I'll meet you there.

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