My husband is the perfect man for me. He is tall, handsome, smart, sweet, kind and my best friend. He is also white.
In the new America, we (interracial couples) are becoming more and more common. One sign of the progress we have made as a country is that any child we have in the future also has the possibility of being president. People used to be concerned about bi-racial children being confused and not having a strong sense of identity but now with President Obama people see that they are capable of doing great things including being leader of the free world.
Once people find out I am married to a white man they are always curious to know what it's like being in an interracial marriage. The most common questions are related to what his family thinks about our marriage and whether we face discrimination. I'm not sure what they expect to hear, but I tell them honestly that we have not had any significant issues. I love my husband's family and that they love and accept me. I met them right before we were engaged and they were very happy for us. Everyone happily attended our wedding and after eight years of marriage we are all still very happy together.
I like to say that we are the least exciting interracial couple you will meet. We don't do drama and there is none to speak of from our immediate friends and family. Part of the reason for this is because I would not have married into a family who were unwilling to accept me as a member of their family. We are relatively young, middle class and well educated. We are a modern American family and are a growing demographic nationally.
Not everyone is interested in dating someone of another race, but if you are it's not something to be intimidated about. Here are my tips for those who are interested in dating interracially:
1. Make sure you have the same values and goals. This should be the case regardless of any racial differences.
2. Accept the differences that your racial backgrounds sometimes give you. You will have different perspectives on the same situation.
3. Appreciate that the world is not always going to think that you go together, but not caring because you belong together.
4. Find a way to be comfortable about discussing race but respect where the line is for your partner.
5. Surround yourselves with people who provide love and support.
6. Don't let other people's issues become your issues.
7. Don't try and change the other person.
8. Be open to spending time each other's community. It can sometimes be challenging, but is necessary.
9. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. I love who I am and I found someone who loves me just the way I am.
10. If you can help it, don't put yourself in situations where you constantly have to fight those around you to be with the one you love. We chose to live in a diverse area where our neighbors are open and comfortable with different kinds of people. It means we don't have to constantly try and justify our relationship while doing life's everyday tasks like mowing the lawn or doing the grocery shopping.