Satan's in the Stall Beside Me

The demise of mountain state Republican Senator Larry Craig amuses those of us who enjoy watching right-wing heroes crash to the ground, spiked on their own hypocrisy. It further confirms my theory: prick any conservative and the kink oozes out. The rockier the rib, the more likely you'll find pink lingerie under the trousers or a bullwhip and manacles in the bedside drawer. You can bet those Beltway dominatrices, madams and escorts (gay and straight) have been able to buy second homes -- maybe even in Sun Valley! -- with their haul during W's reign.

However, because we are people of compassion, we should also feel a little horrified by this tortured man's sad, humiliating demise. He's obviously lived his whole life afflicted by the religious psychobabble and outright bigotry of people who say homosexuality is a sickness and a lifestyle decision instead of an innate state of being that has nothing to do with illness or choice.

The sickness, of course, is in the suppression, which is why closeted men seek love in rank public bathroom stalls.

The Republican Party got Bush re-elected in 2004 by playing the homophobe card. In Ohio, their minions went door-to-door in Amish country and warned the historically non-secular inhabitants that if they didn't get out and register Republican, gay marriage would be the law of the land. Tens of thousands of Amish men and women hitched horses to buggies, cracked their whips, and raced to the nearest polling place to vote to repel the Sodomites. With their unprecedented help, Ohio, that crucial state, slid ever so narrowly into the red column, sending the Bush regime back to the White House with four more years to plot how to bomb Tehran.

The trouble with this wedge issue, as everyone now knows, is that it's Republican suicide. The hateful public stance of the party has driven its many gay members into ever more contorted acts of self-loathing excess, driving the disease of suppression out in the open and subjecting men to public stoning by their own frenzied followers.

Foley, Haggard and Craig are only the most famous. There's Florida Rep. Bob Allen, also caught lurking for sex in a public bathroom, Corporal Matt Sanchez, gay porn star and -- for a shining moment -- Fox News channel's right wing Marine of the moment. And who can forget Jeff Gannon, the right-wing faux journalist with a secret life as a gay escort favored with a hard (yes!) White House press pass by the Bush administration communications department.

Yesterday, Republicans were sprinting away from shiny-shod, crisply cuffed mountain man Larry. Craig "represents the Republican Party," Rep. Pete Hoekstra, Republican of Michigan, said. You got that right, Pete! And then: "I think it's important for Republicans to step out right now and say, 'No, this behavior is not going to be tolerated.'"

"Tolerated." Now there's a word Republicans should meditate on for a long moment.

When I was covering Capitol Hill just before Clinton's impeachment, every other young, spiffily manicured male staffer I met in Republican Congressional offices was at least androcentric, if not obviously gay. I don't have a sensitive gay-dar, but there was something about them. Ties never askew, hair immaculately groomed, cuffs gleaming, they usually knew more about my shoes than I did.

Bill Clinton's voracious heterosexuality had as much to do with drawing their rabid hatred as any of his other attributes. He loved women too much, and if only he'd given equal time and effort to seducing those beautiful men, he might have saved himself some trouble.

Republicans in Washington know there are probably more gay men in their ranks than there are on Castro Street.

Still, against all logic and sense, they won't utter a word about tolerance.

It's time for Republicans to embrace their own gay wing and stop fueling the sickness of suppression that drives men like Larry Craig into airport bathroom stalls. Until they do, they're headed straight for the toilet with him -- not that they shouldn't jump right in anyway.

Comments

[Greensleeves]

The reason Karl Rove went underground is to initiate PRAYER FOR GAY RIGHTS at those prayer stations all over the place.Hold the base with the prayer approach.Cultivate the gay constituency. That's a real big tent winner.See you in the toilet Karl.

[Observer47]

With all due respect, Ms. Burleigh, the Amish voters in Ohio were not the factor that put our state in the red. They helped somewhat, but the outright election rigging and voter suppression on the part of our Secretary of State (and head of Bush/Cheney Ohio) Ken Blackwell are what changed the election results from a Kerry majority at midnight on Election Day to a Bush win the next morning.

Oh, and as for sympathizing with Larry Craig, you must be joking! Hyprocrites like him deserve no one's sympathy!

[Qbear]

When you contemplate giving Craig some peace and dignity...REMEMBER these closet cases did LESS than NOTHING as hundreds of thousands of gay brothers suffered and died of AIDS..in the G*D DAMN streets of America.

[ecclesias]

As a straight person maybe I'm missing something here in some of these posts. I just think Craig is plain weird. I mean, when I go to the ladies' room I don't want some woman I don't know looking into my john and then from the john next to me touching my foot with her foot and then putting her hand under the wall into my stall. Much as I like guys, I don't even want some strange guy doing that! EEEEWWWW! I just want to go to the bathroom and continue my day. To me, for whatever reason, Craig is just a mean, judgmental guy who doesn't respect the boundaries of other people - that's what makes him a pervert. Who cares what his sexual preference is?

[HarryCalhoun]

Senator Craig states that he is not Gay (Good As You). I can accept that because no body should really have to declare their sexual preference except to a person of the same or opposite sex who they are dating or of course their spouse/partner. This really gets down to our fundamental right to privacy if a person chooses to be private in their life.

Senator Craig was read his rights and plead guilty to a crime without the advice of legal counsel. Potentially due to his shame regarding the circumstances he was unwilling to trust the confidentiality of attorney/client privilege built into our legal system. As a US Senator, I would hope that Senator Craig would consult qualified individuals, not lobbyists, on aspects of issues that affect people all across our nation.

The man's obsessions ultimately overtook his sensibilities. As a public official, Senator Craig, we must question whether your judgement on issues was impaired or influenced by your willingness to make impulsive decisions, without balanced advice, not a concern whether or not you are Gay.

If the Assault Weapon Ban which expired on September 13, 2004, had been renewed, perhaps (or perhaps not) the casualties at Virginia Tech would not have been so high because the clip used in the weapon of choice by the shooter was previously banned. Does the NRA on whose board you sit care that you may be Gay? In reality probably not because so much of the anti-gay noise which is just pure bigotry is used as political fodder and for fundraising from pulpits. No mention has been made of you resigning from the NRA Board over this instance. You did not plead guilty to a felony.

We are still waiting to hear from professional tap dancers. What potential damage did you do to their form of dance by the description of your admitted actions. They don't care if you are Gay. But, how dare you tap your foot in our nations highly secure airport bathroom stalls or in the halls of Congress? Let alone with a barbershop quartert!

[justice4juveniles]

cops are always saying everyone is lying. They do it to kids during interrogation without parent or lawyer present. The kid changes the story and when the cops get the story they want, they video tape it (that why many confession tapes start out with.. "let's continue" or "let's start over" or "Let's start from here", etc.) and send it over to the prosecutor's office. It is now considered the confession and the kids gets an adult mandatory minimum sentence when the jury convicts based on the ill-begotten confession. Some are serving LWOP based on cops telling kids they are lying and threatening them with the "death penalty" and other punishments kids don't know they are not eligible for. To me, the cop in the Craig story is the more reprehensible character. I couldnt' believe it when I heard the "lying" BS in the tape and then how beligerent the cop became. I thought they only did that to kids. If cops are doing this to adults, imagine what they are doing to kids. Believe me, you wouldn't believe what they get away with.

[mylesh]

So, Bush won 2004 because he played the god card, especially in Ohio?
Sorry, Nina, but Bush stole the election, especially in Ohio.
Democrats! Stop being so spineless and come out and say your election was stolen from you and acknowledge that you didn't do a danm thing to stop it or reverse it.
The Green Party put out a weak candidate who played it 'safe', giving it to you Dems. Jesus Christ, even when the Greens give it to you you can't even except your own failings!!!!

[josieb]

If he doesn't resign it will be interesting to see how long this story lasts--with the Iraq report and other news ready to pop next week.

[vginger]

I don't understand. "Gay" means that one prefers to be intimate with the same sex..Yes?
What does that have to do with soliciting sex in bathrooms? Can't one be "gay" and responsible for ones actions? What somebody does in regard to their love life is none of my business as long as it is between consenting adults. Period. But performing sex acts in public is simply wrong. And should be illegal.
If one is "gay" ..accept it and admit it...and go on with your life in the best way possible..­.BUT...ple­ase to do it responsibly.
Groping in public is embarresing no matter what the situation...having sex in public is gross. To hear the word "gay" should not have to be immediately connected to horrible things...but if people of that leaning want to be accepted and respected...they must first respect themselves. Also, love and lust...two different things..not wrong...just different. To say the man was looking for love is ridiculous...he was looking for sexual release...and thats fine also..in the privacy of ones bedroom. We have to regain some kind of dignity to our lives or nothing else will go right...I know this sounds simple. It is. I am a middle aged grandmother who has lived a very non sexual life...after a very bad marriage...my energy went into my work and raising my children...then my grandchildren. I never met someone I could love..my loss...but if I did...Male or Female..I would have been happy to experience that. I would label myself "staight"...my preference being men. I think maybe humankind is at its core really "Bi" and we should be accepting of that. So its not the Sex of a person that says we should love them...its the chemistry. When Americans get this...perhaps we will not have so many tortured souls looking for love in all the wrong places. Just the opinion of an old lady...but we need to be centerd on these situations­..acceptan­ce and drawing the line..Balance. V.

[edpaz]

Tolerance comes from knowledge. If all could understand that gay is gay and straight is straight and neither is a choice. It is inherent from the womb and has been throughout history. When men like Senator Craig have to solicit sex in public rest rooms, it is an indication of suppression of their true orientation. If the stigma were eradicated, gays would not have to suppress their sexual preference. Senator Craig's behavior obviously arises out of his own need to live as a straight person who knows no other way to solicit same sex affairs and remain in the closet. Unfortunately he solicited the wrong person. I cannot defend the manner in which he was apprehended because I feel it was entrapment. (I wonder who the cop teed off to be assigned duty sitting in a bathroom stall eight hours a day.)

[Robert59]

Most Republicans also view themselves as libertarian leaning. You would take it to mean they want less government intrusion in one's private life, especially what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes.

For the life of me I can't figure out why the gay or bisexual men you mentioned are Republicans in the first place.

Craig clearly likes sex with other men or there wouldn't be rumors going back to his college days and he wouldn't have been caught soliciting in that bathroom. He also likes the thrill of illicit sex.

So why is he a Republican? It's not because he believes in its values, but because it's put him on a path to wealth. Look at the millions Haggard made.

Their hypocrisy is dangerous. They remind me of lawmakers who smoke dope but who haven't repealed laws making possession of marijuana a felony punishable by life imprisonment.

If two men or two women live together, obey the law, pay their taxes, why shouldn't they have the same rights and protections as a heterosexual couple?

All this talk about civil marriages is more horsecrap. All marriages are civil marriages; the part taking place in front of a minister, priest, rabbi, or imam is a religious ceremony. Without the blessing of the state, the marriage is invalid.

[gardenbookie]

Gay? Straight? Somewhere in between? Democrat? Republican? Somewhere in between? It matters not. Pervert? Predator? Hypocrite? Damned fool? Yup. And he (and many more like him)are running our country.

[Scipio]

"The sickness, of course, is in the suppression, which is why closeted men seek love in rank public bathroom stalls." -- Yes, and then again, no. I would express a minor cavil with this observation, only to say it is not "suppression" that sent Craig to "tearooms" (as men's restrooms are known in the gay world), but "oppression," and self-oppression at that. Gays believe that Craig's behavior is (to use an old gay liberationist slogan from the 60's) "internalized homophobia." But there is yet another aspect that no one seems to have caught onto as yet. It's the gay male equivalent to the Freudian interpretation of kleptomania. Simply put, the kleptomaniac swipes things he doesn't even need (since he can afford them, or already has one or more of the item taken), so there is obviously an underlying reason why he steals, usually found in childhood trauma of some sort. We had a local politician who entered a supermarkdet and put an inexpensive item (I think it was a hair brush) in his pocket. Later, on getting caught, he said, "I put it in my pocket intending to take it out and pay for it when I checked out." Like Craig, with his homosexual men's room solicitation, he could not simply admit he'd shoplifted. The Freudians say that such people actually WANT to be caught. (My theory in the case of the local pol is that he wanted to ruin his chances of winning reelection, since it was rumored he was only running because his base insisted on it; he wanted out, no pun intended.) The other thing that is being overlooked is that studies show that gay men who engage in toilet fun do it because of the thrill, the adrenalin rush if you will. That is, it excites them to think that they're doing something naughty in a public place, that they might get caught.

[Zyzzygowski]

Who in their right mind picks up toilet paper from the floor in a public restroom?

[FOXYLADY]

EXACTLY!! HAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHA­H

[reinaldok]

Really, who cares if this guy Craig is a homosexual? Does it truly matter? What we most certainly should be looking at, is this guy - a top neo-con, just another LIAR? Just another in the long list of the full time backers of dubya's regime, who find it perfectly acceptable to fudge answers and openly lie when asked very simple questions.
The bushies obviously think it is perfectly ok to lie, when it might advance their cause.