A few weeks ago, I had lunch with an old friend, a lawyer and a judge who has been a long-time activist in the women's movement. We discussed the exciting Democratic political field and I confessed, somewhat nervously, that I supported Barack Obama.
"I'm so glad," my friend blurted. "So do I." She explained that the decision to withdraw support from Hillary Clinton, the first woman with a serious shot at becoming president, had become so contentious that she had to refrain from discussing it with her women friends for fear of destroying relationships.
I was saddened by this, but not surprised. After all, hadn't I been nervous about expressing my own decision? But the division between women on this issue, coupled with anger and accusations of betraying feminism, is a serious one, not just for the presidential election, but for the women's movement itself.
In its earliest manifestations, the women's movement was never only about economic and professional opportunities, it was also about freedom of choice. We stood for a woman's right to break away from the stereotypes that defined and confined us. We spoke of the bonds that united women, our "sisterhood" and formed support groups to encourage and empower ourselves and each other.
But, inevitably, differences arose, and when challenged, many of us reserved our support only for those who agreed with us. When, in large numbers, mothers joined the work force and found substitute caretakers for their children while others decided to give up or put off careers and stay at home, an eruption of verbal fire sallied forth from both sides. I wrote an article about that development for Newsweek in 1990. We called it "The Mommy Wars", and it detailed the anger and accusations each group lobbed at the other.
What happened to supporting your sister's freedom of choice? It turned out it was often only evident when she chose what you chose.
The woman's movement has grown and transformed since the 1990's, but many of us still don't seem able to tolerate honest differences among us. We early feminists, those of us now in our '50s and '60s and '70s, need to realize that as we have matured so has the movement we champion. And a true sign of a mature movement is the recognition that there is room for more than one point of view. We have reached a level of empowerment where we no longer have to be governed by a kind of gender tribalism, and can, indeed must, think of the needs of our country as a whole. If a man is more compelling than a woman candidate, if he generates excitement and inspires idealism in a way that she doesn't, and if he runs for office with a women's agenda, we are not betraying our feminist credentials by voting for him. In fact, we are affirming them.
Just as we thought differently from the generation of women before us, young women define feminism differently from us. They have adapted the movement to the times and have moved to the next step in their empowerment. These young women are at the forefront of a new wave of feminism that includes the men who have embraced our arguments and believe in our goals. Progress is always in the direction of inclusion rather than isolation.
Both young men and young women have embraced Barack Obama in large numbers because they see in him the embodiment of the multicultural, forward-looking new world they inhabit. They believe that we cannot give up on politics and politicians, but that we must change them and they don't think someone who has been part of the old system can accomplish that as well as he can. And they no longer think that gender needs to determine justice.
We are older women. Many of us are mothers. It is time to listen to our children. It is their future we are deciding.
Nina Darnton, a former frequent contributor to the New York Times and National Public Radio and a former staff writer for Newsweek and the New York Post is now a freelance writer living in New York.
I have written elsewhere (http://www.salon.com) on this topic, but will summarize here.
Women who support Hillary Clinton, myself included, are doing so because she of her experience, deep understanding of the challenges our country faces, and because of the judgment and wisdom she has used and will use to solve the crises we face.
We see her candidacy as a clear signal that finally the scales might be balanced to show the world that women can accomplish anything. She embodies for us the reality-based struggle for equality. We support her not because she "appears to be anatomically correct for the female species," but because of her lengthy record of public service to improve the lives of women, children, the elderly, the abused, and the disenfranchised.
Dismissing Hillary Clinton as "cold" or "calculating" or her "hen house ways" or the incredible pressure being applied for her to "step down" for the good of the Democratic Party simply proves that sexism is still very much alive and thriving -- even in the Democratic Party and among those who call themselves "progressives".
We, as feminists, long for a "post-feminist" political world, where gender will not influence the way we think, or act, or speak, or behave. Unfortunately and in reality, we are not even close to such an ideal, so long as women earn less than their male counterparts for the same work, do not have the same promotion and advancement possibilities, fare worse than men in our pensions and Social Security, face daily domestic violence and less-subtle but equally powerful verbal and emotional put-downs, and struggle to overcome engrained cultural bias and discrimination in the political landscape.
Hillary Clinton's candidacy and possible nomination will move us many miles closer to that "post feminist" ideal. It deeply saddens me hat so many women cannot -- or will not -- acknowledge this.
I do think women have the right to vote for who they want - and it's an important point - but why not do it in the voting box - why all this effort to gain more votes and put another woman down - the first woman who has EVER gotten this far - and what's with this need to write these kinds of highly defensive tomes on the how and why they feel they just must vote for Obama? How many votes do you want to influence? If it's so personal - keep it personal and let those of us women who still don't have the rights we deserve relish in this possibility for the first time in history. If not NOW then WHEN? This race is a classic look at exactly what happens and has been happening for my long lifetime - that same old corporate profile of "the man" coming in out of nowhere - being given that desireable and important job despite his lack of credentials, experience or history - while the woman who has worked in the grueling trenches - worked her b....t off and done WELL - NO - she does NOT get that job and just because she's a woman! It's classic!
I do my best to be tolerant and patient with these women who it appears to me are turning their understandible self-hatred on Hillary by needing to write some of these pathetic cries for mercy - but I admit - my best in this case isn't really working. I don't like it but no doubt - it's clearly part of our gender growing process! The best to all of us, including Obama - and CONGRATULATIONS HILLARY ON YOUR WIN IN TEXAS, OHIO AND RHODE ISLAND! :-) You're such a winner!!!! You've never given up and you're going to continue to MAKE A DIFFERANCE! You've worked HARD and YOU DESERVE IT! WE DESERVE IT!
1. Hillary is loathed by the Republicans and she will energize them to go vote against her.
2. Hillary has lost the Black vote. Period. The Clintons were polling 80% to Obama’s 20% among blacks till they played the race card.
3. The only people supporting Hillary are misguided feminists who are voting for her because of gender and nothing else. There are at least as many Democratic men (as there are pro-Hillary lesbians) who are outraged by Hillary’s behavior that they will stay home or vote for McCain.
I am astounded that many people do not understand the overwhelming enthusiasm Obama is generating. The only reason he is drawing the crowds is that OBAMA IS EVERYTHING REPUBLICANS ARE NOT. Period. No other Democrat who ran was so completely against everything Republicans stand for as Obama. It is not his race. It is summarized by his statement: "I don't just want to end the Iraq war; I want to change the mindset that got us into that war."
Mark my words, Hillary will never become POTUS.
How can feminists who have any compassion for women working in Chinese sweatshops still support Hillary Clinton, friend of the Waltons and former member of the Wal-Mart Board of Directors? I am a middle-aged woman, active in the movement since high school days in the late sixties, and I cannot support her.
Decades ago I had the opportunity to vote for a woman who became the first woman governor of the state of Washington. Sadly, I couldn't vote for her either. She is now widely regarded as an embarrassingly poor governor. During the campaign I endured criticism from many women who prefer to forget they supported her. Fortunately, we now have a female governor, Chris Gregoire, who may be the best leader Washington has ever had.
It's a crucial time in our country's history and I want the best person to be our president.
Hillary would be supremely competent as President, but she would still be the equivalent of a pre-Reagan Republican in Democratic clothing.
I think it's sad that women are not doing the same. Women are 51 percent of this population, yet we have NEVER had a woman in the top spot and we are so easily swayed by our male counterparts.
Women today earn 25 percent less income than a man in the same job on average.
Vote for Obama and help to keep it that way, or vote for Hillary and help women finally achieve equality.
Why does America have the highest incident of rape than any other country in the world? Because women just don't fight to change it. Go Hillary
Look it's one thing to support the message it's completely another to only support the messenger. Obviously the message is not what matters to you. It’s the “appearance” that female civil rights "moves forward"...
Once again. Thank you Nina for having the guts to articulate the importance of your vote.
Thank you for realizing that this is much bigger than our own selfish desires. THAT is his primary message. We ALL have to grab a paddle and row so we all DESERVE a piece of this country. "Entitlement" is so played out and to the point that it has become comical. We can all find a reason to feel "owed".
Let's just take a high level look at the landscape and "see" for a "change".
Feminism is too important to allow this to happen, we still have too many things to do. We need to think about the future and how to create the kind of feminist movement that will attract both our daughters and our sons, people with new ideas, and from different walks of life, the same way that the civil rights movement attracted white people and black people, men and women, people from all backgrounds.
As long as the old guard stands there insiting that things MUST be done a certain way women, and men, will walk away in disgust.
Both Hillary and Obama are excellent candidates. If you think one candidates stands out against the other - vote for them! If you feel, on balance, that they are both of equal merit then you (as a woman) may wish to vote for Hillary to advance 'your' cause. If you are African American you may wish to vote for Obama to advance 'your' cause. (If you're an African American Woman - d'oh!)
Either way, vote for whomever you think is best regardless of what the blogs, polls, and pundits tell you.
To be honest, I was an Edwards supporter first. Then I had to learn more about the "others". I came out of that process an Obama supporter and thus voted.
As time has gone along, I have seen more reasons - based upon fact - to know that I made the correct choice. For example:
1. The more pressure - the more Hillary flip-flops on issues
2. The more pressure - the more Hillary behaves like a child
3. The more pressure - the more Hillary seems to enjoy gutter tactics
I have spent a life-time trying to be a good example of gender equality and supported other women in their efforts to move forward. Anyone with that background knows that it is not enough to SAY "because I'm a woman" - you have to EARN the respect you seek.
I will continue to work for gender equality - but one thing is for sure, I will NOT support Hillary Clinton.
60 YOA, white, professional woman and an Obama voter - and proud of it.
Why don't you judge Hillary by the same standard you judge the male candidates, because you're not currently doing that. You are holding her to a different standard than the other candidates. Did anyone come down on Joe Biden or John Edwards for their votes for the war? Of course, not. Why is Hillary being blamed for NAFTA when she wasn't actually responsible for signing it. Why is her healthcare plan being scrutinized for mandates when such a plan has been approved by so many independent economic experts as the most plausible solution to our national healthcare disaster, and Obama's plan - which independent economic experts has confirmed will leave 15 million people uninsured, receives no scrutiny.
Sexism is so ingrained in this society - it's pathetic.
Why do Hillary's supporters believe that anyone who doesn't get in line behind her is sexist? Perhaps some believe she's actually a POOR CANDIDATE. Isn't that possible?
Just not Hillary.
Just not one that allowed Bush free reign to do what he did, without slowing him down one iota. She didn't want to appear "non-presidential." So instead she appeared to manipulate herself into what the polls told her might win. It is her lack of spunk in this regard, a lack of central conviction about where she herself stands, that deems her unworthy of a post that has seen seven years of manifold unworthiness.
Had Hillary voted for impeachment, I would be marching for her today.
Is that supposed to be an argument? I clearly recall that's exactly what we heard about GW Bush, as opposed to "boring old Al Gore". I certainly don't equate Obama to Gore, but the argument is the same.
I am excited to think that a woman candidate and an African-American candidate have both come so far. I like a lot of things about both of them, but I voted for Hillary, and not just because she's a woman. I genuinely believe she's best prepared to lead this country. Other women leaders haven't necessarily been the sexiest choices, either.
Actually, I can't say that I think the womens' movement has adapted. I think "deteriorated" would be a more accurate term, and still we are our own worst enemies.
I've been reading articles from some feminists who look at the miracle that just happened (a black man and a woman drawing record turnouts in every state) and all they see is an affirmation that sexism is still alive and well. It's so myopic to look at this amazing development in such a small-minded way.
Thanks for pointing out what many already knew in their hearts. Feminism gives women and men the opportunity to vote for a female candidate, not the obligation.
I have NOT swallowed kool-aid, I am insulted when people say or imply that I have because it belittles the seriousness of this decision, and how it affects my children. Obama is the better candidate and, I believe, will be a tremendous President. I hope that we, as feminists and humans, can learn to resepct each other for our different decisions and beliefs--it really will be the only way the feminist movement will evolve. Thank you, again, for your words.
Something tells me you have come across these types in the past. You're right. That's bulls***. Women deserve better that that classic "little sister" game playing.