06/23/2010 07:10 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

The Cure for SHELF-Help (Part 2)

In the previous article, I showed you that every decision you make comes from your Why-To's and Why-Not-To's - your internal perception of why you should or shouldn't do that thing.

"Okay, Noah," you're saying. "But if I'm holding myself back from the success I'm capable of, are you trying to tell me that I don't want to succeed?"

Well, after working with tens of thousands of people in our coaching programs and courses, I've never met one person who doesn't WANT to succeed.

Yet we've already seen that millions of people are holding themselves back from the success they're capable of... even though we're spending BILLIONS of dollars trying to fix the problem. So what's wrong with this picture?

The Hidden Reason You're Stuck

Picture an iceberg.

Scientists at Stanford, MIT and other esteemed institutions have determined that the human mind operates like an iceberg: the 10% that's visible (above the surface) and the 90% that's hidden (below the surface).

Let's call the visible 10% your Conscious Mind, and the hidden 90% your Subconscious Mind. Another word for Conscious is intentional, because it represents CHOICE.

Your Subconscious is a vast collection of unintentional, habitual thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Therefore, the Subconscious mind is NO CHOICE.

Your Subconscious Mind is like a completely dark room. We don't know what's in there, because we can't see it -- it's hidden beneath the surface like the bottom 90% of an iceberg. And when you can't see something, it's awfully hard to change it.

Which brings us back to the original question:

Why Millions of People Are Still Stuck... Even AFTER Spending So Much Money on Self-Help Products

When you put together your Scales of Success and Iceberg of Consciousness, the answer becomes stunningly simple:

Your Why-To's of Success are held in your Conscious Mind.

Everyone wants to succeed - on the Conscious level. Why do you think we're spending all this time and money trying to be more successful?

But have you ever stopped to think about the Cost of actually allowing yourself to succeed?

I've asked this question of thousands of people in my seminars, and the response I get is... dead silence. I can almost hear people's minds whirring as they ask themselves: "Gee, I never thought of that before...What could be a Cost of allowing myself to succeed?"

When I ask my audience members to give examples of their perceived Cost of Success, they say:

  • It's going to take too much TIME.
  • I'm too BUSY.
  • I don't want the extra RESPONSIBILITY.
  • What if my FAMILY doesn't approve?
  • What if my FRIENDS don't like me any more?
  • What if I go for it and LOSE it all?

Did you notice something about these Why-Not-To's? They are all held in your Subconscious mind. Meaning: no one wakes up in the morning and says, "Today looks like a great day. I think I'll hold myself back from success today!"

Nor does anyone say, "I think I'll buy this book (or go to this seminar, or start this coaching program) so I can SABOTAGE myself better!"

Everyone wants to succeed -- on the Conscious level.

But because your Why-Not-To's of Success are hidden in your Subconscious mind, it's like you're driving down the road of life...with one foot on the brake.

The fastest way to get your foot off the brake is to see why it's there in the first place. Here are four ways to do that:

1. List your Why-To's and Why-Not-To's of Success. On a piece of paper, list your Why-To's of Success on one side, and your Why-Not-To's of Success on the other. (If you get stuck on this, here's a free resource to get you unstuck.)

2. Calculate your stuckness. When you have them all written down, score each one from 1-10, 1 meaning "it's no big deal" and 10 meaning "this is a really big deal". Calculate your totals on both sides to see how stuck you really are.

3. Share your list with a trusted friend. It's critical to share your list with a trusted friend, coach or mentor, because they'll be able to offer objective advice and see you more clearly than you can see yourself. (This is called the Loving Mirror principle.)

4. Ask yourself if you're willing to pay the price of success. The fact is that every solution brings with it a new set of problems. So, while it's true that there is a price to pay when you allow yourself to succeed, only you can decide if going for the success you want is worth it.

I say: Go for it. Because when you give yourself permission to succeed, you also give others that same permission - and give yourself permission to be Who You Really Are.

* * *
Noah St. John, Ph.D. is the #1 bestselling author of The Secret Code of Success: 7 Hidden Steps to More Wealth and Happiness (HarperCollins).

Neale Donald Walsch says, "Noah is a brilliant guy who brings tremendous insight into this problem of embracing success that he quite accurately observes in people."

Noah is the world's most-quoted expert on how to annihilate your head trash. Get the first 3 chapters of the book that will change how you embrace success (FREE) at