Noel Gallagher

Well that tv show was - as predicted - fucking insane. It's quite difficult to know what these Japanese shows are actually supposed to be about, but I'm guessing it was like some kind of version of our very own Top of the Pops (R.I.P.).

It was...

Yes comrades. It's been a couple of days. This jet-lag is a fucker. Hardly slept a wink. So . . .

Did a show a couple of days ago at the Budokan. Quite a prestigious gig. Bob Dylan played here back in the day as did a little known band...

Yes comrades.

You might have guessed we've had a few days off. Back in London. Very nice it was too.

So... where were we? Santiago? Don't remember much about the gig. I'm sure it was stunning.

To be honest I was...

Yes comrades... so Lima? (that's in Peru by the way)

It's also the place where I wrote that song of mine called If I Had A Gun.
Nice place. Foggy. Stinks of dead fish!! Got a little bit wasted the first night on that drink 'pisco...

Yes comrades.

So... Paraguay? Holy shit-balls what a crazy country!! We'll get to the gig in a bit but first let me take you on a little journey from the hotel to the soundcheck. Forty minutes it took and honest to God you've never seen anything like...

Yes comrades... so... Buenos Aires?

Fucking great show. It always is in that place. It never disappoints. Big crowd, about 10,000!! Just like the old days (man)!!

The gig itself was out doors right beside a busy railway line and quite near an airport AND it was a full moon!...

Yes comrades.

So... Rio? Fuck me! What an unbelievable night. A truly special gig. Not because of anything I did I hasten to add - I played AND sang like shit!! But them kids man!?!? It was just a privilege to have been there never mind on...

Yes comrades... so, Sao Paolo.

Had a press conference early doors. Bit awkward to start with. It livened up though. It actually ended with my interpreter and a journalist just having a chat down their respective mics!!

The show was fucking mega. What a...

Yes comrades, it's been a while eh? Lots to tell so let's go all the way back to Vegas.
That day was a fucking nightmare. Iree Nancy and our 2 princes had arrived in Los Angeles for a little holiday so I decided to fly to Vegas on the...

You currently find me at LAX.

So... comrades.

Where were we? San Diego? Strange place. Nice place. Very hot. Not much else to say about it really. It was an in and out job. The gig was a bit... a bit... a bit... I'm...

Yes comrades.

Been a colossal few days. Think the last time we spoke was just before the gig in Atlanta right?

And what a gig! I thought it was gonna be great the minute I set foot on the stage... incredible atmosphere, great sound,...

"Hey man I don't mean to disrespect you..."

Yes.. well now then, the gig in DC was okay. We ain't played for a couple of weeks so it always takes three or four gigs to get back into the groove so to speak.

Our usual keyboard player (can't remember...

Yes...

Well now it has been a long time hasn't it? About a week or so? Fuck knows. I'll try and recall some of the best bits for you.

Berlin! Never really got to see much of that place down the years and if I did it was under cover...

Yes.. well been mad busy. Lot's to tell. So... where were we? Barcelona right?

The trip from Barcelona to Paris was uneventful as you would imagine. Landed in the rain and rushed across town to sit in a cold room for three hours waiting to do some bizarre TV show...

Yes...

Well... Can't remember when the last time was we spoke... To be honest I'm having trouble remembering anything after the Brits! What a smash up!! Well enjoyed it. It'll probably be the last time I ever get nominated so we were pretty determined to rip it...

BELFAST 17/02/12

Yes...

Well, where were we? Aberdeen? Let's start there then, shall we?

A great night, I think. Feeling much more at home now up on the big stage. Think the actual size of the Manchester gig may have freaked...

Yes...

Now then, that gig last night was just as I thought it was gonna be... A bit big, a bit loud, a bit, well... difficult.

Having not played arenas for a few years the step back up the ladder comes as a...

13 February

So yes, well where were we? Australia!! Where are we now? Manchester!!

First night of this arena tour. I used to really, really, love doing arena tours. I loved the feel and the sound and the space etc etc... gotta say after the production rehearsals last night...

Yes...

I is in Adelaide. Not been up to this neck of the bush for a long time. Felt a bit rough yesterday, dodgy Chinese before I left the hotel in Melbourne.

Have a guess who I bumped into in the lift yesterday? Go on... you'll never guess. One half...

MELBOURNE (31/01/12):

Yes...

Well... So? I've become addicted to watching the Aussie news. It's beyond hilarious.

Honestly, it's like a spoof show - AUSSIE NEWS (MATE). Someone should do that, it'd be mega. I'd watch it anyway.