It was you, Fredo

For several months I have considered the continuing presence of Alberto Gonzales a personal failure on my part. I had wished him gone. I had said insulting things about him to my friends. I had written things about him, although I didn't quite finish any of them. He deserved to be gone. Nonetheless he was still there.

I just couldn't believe that a man who had lied under oath that often was still the attorney general of the United States. I couldn't believe that those of us on this side of things had been utterly ineffectual at getting rid of him. What's more, I have to admit, I became almost awestruck at his ability to hang in there. Which goes for the whole crew, by the way: say what you will about George Bush (and there is almost nothing I won't), he's still president, and it's amazing how much bad stuff you can continue to do as president even if your poll numbers are below 30.

In any case, Gonzales has resigned. I wish him a happy time hiring lawyers and living off the slush fund someone will set up for him. Soon we will know why he left at this particular moment. The mind reels at the possibilities. What could possibly be even worse than all the things he's survived? At some point we'll find out. Stay tuned.

I hope he's not worried about his legacy, because he will have one, and it will be not unlike what awaits almost all the members of this administration: they will be fodder for art. Yes, art. Dick Cheney said a couple of months ago that history would be his judge, but I beg to differ: history will be nothing compared to the plays. This administration will be the subject of hundreds of plays; the playwrights will be drawn again and again to the astonishing, amazing panoply of evil and complicity the Bush Administration has provided. Gonzales will be a hilarious comic foil in most of these productions -- a jack-in-the-box who will pop out, say he has no recollection whatsoever of anything, and pop back in. Short actors will kill to play him.

By the way, I have a pet theory about Alberto Gonzales: I've always believed that the reason the President called Gonzales Fredo was that when they first met, Bush incorrectly believed that Gonzales' first name was Alfredo, and Gonzales was too much of a toady to correct him.

I meant to download that theory before it was too late, and the good news is, where this administration is concerned, it's never going to be too late.