It was you, Fredo

For several months I have considered the continuing presence of Alberto Gonzales a personal failure on my part. I had wished him gone. I had said insulting things about him to my friends. I had written things about him, although I didn't quite finish any of them. He deserved to be gone. Nonetheless he was still there.

I just couldn't believe that a man who had lied under oath that often was still the attorney general of the United States. I couldn't believe that those of us on this side of things had been utterly ineffectual at getting rid of him. What's more, I have to admit, I became almost awestruck at his ability to hang in there. Which goes for the whole crew, by the way: say what you will about George Bush (and there is almost nothing I won't), he's still president, and it's amazing how much bad stuff you can continue to do as president even if your poll numbers are below 30.

In any case, Gonzales has resigned. I wish him a happy time hiring lawyers and living off the slush fund someone will set up for him. Soon we will know why he left at this particular moment. The mind reels at the possibilities. What could possibly be even worse than all the things he's survived? At some point we'll find out. Stay tuned.

I hope he's not worried about his legacy, because he will have one, and it will be not unlike what awaits almost all the members of this administration: they will be fodder for art. Yes, art. Dick Cheney said a couple of months ago that history would be his judge, but I beg to differ: history will be nothing compared to the plays. This administration will be the subject of hundreds of plays; the playwrights will be drawn again and again to the astonishing, amazing panoply of evil and complicity the Bush Administration has provided. Gonzales will be a hilarious comic foil in most of these productions -- a jack-in-the-box who will pop out, say he has no recollection whatsoever of anything, and pop back in. Short actors will kill to play him.

By the way, I have a pet theory about Alberto Gonzales: I've always believed that the reason the President called Gonzales Fredo was that when they first met, Bush incorrectly believed that Gonzales' first name was Alfredo, and Gonzales was too much of a toady to correct him.

I meant to download that theory before it was too late, and the good news is, where this administration is concerned, it's never going to be too late.

Comments

[epmahc]

I will always remember (unlike him) as the ag
who doesn't recall a thing. What was his name again I don't recall.

[JackMonroe]

"Dick Cheney said a couple of months ago that history would be his judge..."

Well, if Cheney is lucky, History don't own one of them poodle-shooters like Cheney himself used on his pal down at that happy hunting farm.

[JackMonroe]

Why did Fredo hang on so long, even after it was impossible for even republicans to overlook his lying, because it's the best job he ever had. And like most people, heck, like the president himself, he didn't get his "best job" on his own. It was given to him. And one of the first things a guy like Fredo knows is that when you score with a "no-show" job you don't give it up for nothing. No way, no how.

Until Fredo met Bush his specialty was DUI. Which may be how he met Bush. Fifteen hundred bucks keeps you out of jail. Unless you're retarded, then no lawyer can help you. Hell, it's Texas. But how did Gonzales get the name Fredo? Ms Ephron might be right. Or could be that they both saw the Godfather movies together and Dubya identified with Michael and saw in Al a little Fredo-like brother. Or maybe by accident Bush saw Sam Peckinpah's brilliant Bring me the Head of Alfredo Garcia and loved the image of Warren Oates driving drunk around Mexico with Fredo's head in a fly-covered bag.

Now, personally, I opt for the Peckinpah version, because if you watch that great movie, you'll notice as Oates is driving to his final destination, he develops a relationship with Alfredo's head, which he continuously refers to as "Al." And I imagine that whenever Bush sees Fredo he thinks to himself, I got him, I got Al's head in a bag...Fredo..."

From the film:

Boy: Senor, what's in the bag? It is covered with moscas. What is it?

Oates: A dead cat, boy. An alley cat. Got some ice?

[negogato]

Sure it is important that the person holding highest position of law enforcement in the country, appointed by the President who swore an oath to protect [and obey] the constitution – lied under oath to the US congress. Sure, Perjury, it is important.

But I also know that as sure as Dianna Shore wore evening gloves, George Bush fears ridicule. He fears it even more than he fears questions from the crowd. Give it to him.

This is the guy who read on 8/11 that Osama Bin Laden was determined to attach the US and went fishing. This is the guy who bears some considerable responsibility, and cuts jokes and gets mad all the time. Tells his press people to serve him up fluff crowds every single time. He is a tantrum in the making.

Ridicule, Ridicule, no one is more deserving. And he will be fun to watch.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/04/10/august6.memo/

[dhladik]

> Short actors will kill to play him.
rotflmao! you *bitch*!
:)
And the whole post is typical for you: choice, smart, pointed.
It's why I read everything you post.
all best regards,
-D

[wmbear]

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THE "FREDO" REFERENCE...

Was to the character of "Fredo," Michael Corleone's treacherous brother, in the "Godfather" movies. (And you will recall how this Fredo gets his in the movie....)

[Jonahson]

The rats are abandoning ship.

[provgrays]

What would Neil Simon do with this? With apologies to the great writer, I see something like the opening to "The Odd Couple".

"In the year 2000, a bunch of corrupt oilmen installed a mental defective in the Oval Office.

That request came from the Right.

Deep down, they knew he wasn't bright, but they also knew that they would use the government as their own private piggy bank.

Not knowing what else to do, the spineless Democrats gave the idiot and charge whatever he wanted. The electorate howled.

Can three incompetent branches of government share a Republic, without driving each other crazy?

(Cue music)

[kimk3]

I wonder if this might be the scenario: Gonzo is clearly not up to the upcoming battles over "executive privilege" and Cheney convinced Bush to push Gonzo out in order to get someone stronger for this fight. Glad to see Gonzo go-go but not hopeful that this sickening administration will put forth someone whose interest is justice for all not politics for the few.

[NotAConspiracyTheorist]

Great idea about the future plays about this regime. Sure hope you get a chance to pitch Tony Kushner. He would be the perfect one to take this on and do it justice.

[zip10016]

Or can it be that Bush called Gonzales Fredo
because he intuited Fredo -- as in the Godfather and remembered "I'm not stupid,
not what they say about me..." -- now that
makes sense to me.

[Checquoline]

I love you Nora. You never let me down.

I-M-P-E-A-C-H

[MrJoyboy]

Alberto brought a taste of Mexican style corruption to the U.S. government, like a chili pepper into a bland stew of American corruption.

[bhumikaghimire]

he is a chicken..this gonzales guy..he saw that congress and dems will not leave him alone and his greatest supporter is now a lame duck so he is jumping off the sinking ship and this country trusted this CHICKEN to insure rule of law and justice!!

don't be too giddy my friends..what u say and write is being monitored..thanks to gonzales the chicken

[Babs la Plume]

BushCo politics as art? Given ducks and chickens, then perhaps it's all about poultry in motion.

[mouselion]

Yeah, not just plays -- I'm thinking surreal-looking paintings (except they're actually realist paintings) of these guys.

A 8 x 12 painting of Cheney? It'd scare the bejesus outaya!