Nora Zelevansky

Greetings esteemed psychiatric board members! I am here today at The Rick Santorum Institution For The Common Sense-Challenged to convince you of my sanity. After all, as Rick and I know, A plus B doesn't always equal C.

Sometimes it equals "snob."

I'll start at the beginning: A few months...

There's something surreal about picking up the phone and hearing Mondo Guerra's distinctly subdued voice pronounce my name. After all these months of watching the designer compete -- and eventually win -- on Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars," this is like a breaking of the fourth wall....

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 12, the finale, of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 11 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

Turning on the TV to watch this week's episode, I was a little afraid of what I'd find. Home visits with the remaining designers, but no Tim Gunn? Whoever...

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 10 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

And then there were four.

This week's episode of "Project Runway All Stars" features the final challenge before the finale and Kenley, Mondo, Austin and...

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 7 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

There are only seven designers left on "Project Runway All Stars" and the pressure is building ... or at least they keep telling us that.

This week's episode begins with...

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 6 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

Sometimes you can just feel the drama coming. You know what I mean? Like snow, you can almost smell it inching nearer. And this season of "Project Runway All Stars"...

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 5 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

This week's "Project Runway All Stars" opens with one of my favorite reality show conceits: The host pretends that she planned the challenge!

"Welcome to Central Park,"...

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 4 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

Faced with a "wagon wheel coffee table" in "When Harry Met Sally," Carrie Fisher's character Marie famously quips, "Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor,...

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 3 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

In this body-conscious fashion world, there's not generally much room for pigs. But that all changed on this week's trough-breaking episode of "Project Runway All Stars."

As the 11 remaining designers gaze...

I know, I know. I should have started my "Project Runway All Stars" recaps last week when it first premiered, but I was too busy huddled in a corner, recovering from the trauma of Tim Gunn's absence, wondering how they will "make it work."

Let's get one thing...

For the last four weeks, I went without TV. And the weirdest thing happened: I didn't get any smarter.

I didn't pen (or even read) the great American novel, listen to more NPR or spend extra time boning up on politics online. I can do that while watching TV,...

As I was growing up in the 80s and 90s on Manhattan's Upper West Side, my father and I debated countless hot topics: the appropriate length of my "Daisy Duke" jean shorts, the importance of ordering call waiting for my private phone line, the relative inaccuracy of "Student Alert Forms"...

For me, the words "workout video" evoke an image of Jane Fonda in an impossibly high-cut leotard, inexplicable belt and leg warmers, sighing, "Ooh! Buttocks tucks! These are my favorite!"

I blame my mother. That's what the psychiatrists recommend.

Most people my age probably have less disturbing associations like Tae-Bo...

Good news! The apocalypse is finally here: You can now put a new ass on layaway.

I was checking out at a local market in West Hollywood recently, when I noticed a stray pamphlet advertising a special "elective plastic surgery" credit card. Apparently, a company called CareCredit offers payment plans...

It wasn't until I moved to L.A. and attended my first Smashbox Fashion Week runway show, that I actually heard someone unabashedly bark (with conviction), "Do you know who I am?"

The answer, of course, was no.

Fame is handled differently on the respective coasts (and perhaps in the days...